Scarleteen

Heyyyy. I have been reading a lot on the forums and the home page idk what you would call it. But there’s something that I’ve been talking to my friends and family about and everyone just says the same thing and I don’t like that thing they say.

Maybe you can help.

I’ve been seeing a gynecologist since I was 18 because I ended up in the hospital for a bunch of cysts on my ovaries and they told me to go a follow up. My gynecologist did the whole Pap test and him and talked about what was going on. He said it sounds a lot like Endometriosis but I’m young and there’s no way to actually tell unless you got the laparoscopy which is too experimental so he put me on birth control.

He put me on Lo loestrin fe after asking me what I use for birth control I told him I just don’t have sex, I was too afraid to tell him that I don’t really like cis males I was afraid that he wouldn’t see me anymore or something. He threw a pill packs at me and said okay here you go this will fix it. I stayed on it for about 3 months and I couldn’t stop being in pain, crying, bleeding randomly, having lots of discharge/mucus.

I stop taking it and went back and he said it again to take it, I said I wasn’t super into the idea. He basically said there wasn’t another option. Fast forward to this year, I thought I had another cyst so I made an appointment because I couldn’t sit or stand or life without discomfort, same thing that happened when I was it. I went, he said he didn’t feel any and said I had Mittelschmerz he said to get on birth control again and it would make it go away. I explained I didn’t like how it made my body feel etc. He explained that it would make my pain go away. I didn’t take it.

There’s a lot that still happens whether it’s irregular periods, severe pain etc. I’m nervous I’m going to become infertile? If it is Endometriosis it’s causing damage? But he doesn’t care about any of that, he just wants to give me the pill to fix everything he makes it seem and “when you do have sex there won’t be an accident but wait 2 weeks”.

I want to get another gynecologist that will listen to me better. But, the question is, is it even worth it because will they just do the same thing? Is birth control the only thing that can help situations like this? The other stuff that’s easier like the shot etc, that’s just for pregnancy correct? Is that something I could mention?

If you have any advice I would gladly take any of it

My family and friends say just take the pill and get over it basically but I don’t like it, I feel like it’s not good to be putting something like fake in a sense in my body every day? You know?

Hi there sky,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been experiencing this pain and these symptoms. What your doctor did (not talking through your options, taking your input, or listening to what you said you wanted/needed) was not what a competent and effective healthcare provider should do. I'm glad you mentioned seeking out another gynecologist, because that would be my next suggestion.

In terms of treatment options, we can't really give you advice because we're not medical providers. But what your doctor said about oral contraceptives (and one particular brand at that) being the only option to help with cramps/pain/unusually difficult periods is just not true. There are dozens of different combinations of hormones that can be used to manipulate the cycle and its symptoms, and a couple of different delivery methods (patch, shot, ring, etc). Any competent gynecological practitioner should know that, and be willing to work with you if you've tried a particular method and it's not working for you. They should also be able to give you more information in general about what they can observe, what your pattern of symptoms might indicate, and what next steps could be.

If you're able to bring your records from your previous doctor and come in with a clear idea of the wants/needs you want to communicate, you may be more likely to actually get them fulfilled. (The Endometriosis Foundation of America has a really great Personal Pain Profile that I've used to document my symptoms in a way that providers might respond to.

Side note: as someone who has a reproductive disorder, let me commiserate in that it can be really frustrating to experience awful symptoms not get an easily-accessible and clear diagnosis/treatment plan. But continuing to document and share your experience, seeking information and options, and advocating for yourself when you aren't getting the care you deserve is the best way to change that. We have an article about that actually, which you might find helpful: Dealing With Doctors: Taking Control of Your Health Care Destiny. Hope it helps!

Thank you so much! That was really helpful. It’s not just me who thinks it was kinda shitty of him I guess. It’s my sisters doctor too and she thinks he’s so smart and stuff I’m like but he’s not listening to me!!!!!!

I will seek another one, but, do/should I tell them my sexuality? Will they not see me anymore?

I’m sorry you suffer with it too, it really sucks. I hope you have relief from it now or are on the way to it

Hi sky,

Thank you for saying that! I actually ended up going for a surgical option which improved some things, but was not the end-all-be-all solution. So it's still kind of a daily battle.

In terms of the sexuality thing, it's sort of up to you. Unfortunately, not all service providers have gotten the hang of not making assumptions about the genders or sexualities of their clients, and so it's possible that they might make an assumption that you might need to correct.
While they may not be quite as interested in your sexual orientation, most doctors will ask questions about sexual behavior in order to determine risks for things like pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. If you're not comfortable sharing about your personal life, you can always talk about it outright, such as: "I'm not currently having the type of sex which causes pregnancy risk."

If they refused to treat you based on a self-disclosure of your sexuality, that's definitely a sign to seek care elsewhere. That's probably not the type of person that you'd want to see anyway, because their prejudice would most likely get in the way of their ability to work with you to achieve your goals related to your health and body.

You’re welcome. I’m glad it helped slightly. I know you know that literally any bit of relief is a miracle. I sometimes cry when the pains not even there because it’s not there and I’m happy, if that even makes sense lol.

Thank you for that comment. If I’m having sex at that time I will use that. Or just say I’m not planning on engaging in sex that causes pregnancy risk.

Thank you again. Dang, you listened better then my doctor did! Hahaha

You’re awesome!

I'm glad I could help! And I totally know how you feel - I once cried when I was walking my dog outside for the first time after a 6-day-long pain flareup. I was like, "the trees! the sky! they're so beautiful! life is beautiful!", all because I wasn't experiencing that constant pain for the first time in a week. We forget how much it can have an effect on our moods and thoughts.

I love that for you