Scarleteen

so I’ve recently had sex for the first time and I was wondering how long do guys typically last on average? My partner said he “hadn’t done this in a while” and the actual penetrative sex lasted maybe about 3 minutes? I know this is kind of silly to ask but wouldn’t he orgasm quicker since it’s been a while? I’m kind of worried that he should have came quicker and he didn’t? I’m taking this idea of people having quick orgasms from people who are really good at sex and I want it to be equally good for him as it was for me. Am I overthinking this?

Hi roxfoxreal,

Once genital stimulation starts (so that could be things like vaginal sex, oral sex, and so on), on average it takes a person with a penis less than three minutes to ejaculate. So, it sounds like you and your partners experience was right around that average. While the speed that ejaculation happens depends on a lot of things, it's common for young people who've got a people who've got a penis to find that the length of time it takes to reach orgasm with a partner starts off shorter, and will get gradually longer as they get older and become more comfortable and familiar with partnered sex.

Too, with those worries about it taking longer meaning it was less pleasurable for him, sometimes getting there faster rather than more slowly means an orgasm feels uneventful rather than super-wow. So, the slowness may have resulted in an increase in pleasure on his end. It may help to remember that being "good" at sex isn't just about being able to help a partner orgasm quickly; it has a lot to do with being communicative, attentive, and caring. Have you and he talked at all about your worries that sex wasn't as enjoyable for him as it was for you?

We haven’t had the occasion to talk about it since it happened - but we talked about it right after and he said he enjoyed it! I just had some anxieties that you’ve helped to ease, so thank you!

You're welcome!