good memories

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juankax
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:01 am
Age: 43
Pronouns: pitu
Location: london

good memories

Unread post by juankax »

Hello Scarleteen staff!

I’ve been thinking about my ex. I don’t miss him or anything and I don’t love him or want him back. I’m in a new relationship and I’m happy. But i’ve been getting anxiety because i’m thinking about my ex. I mostly think about past memories and I feel super guilty. Or I get reminded of my ex. I don’t want this to ruin my relationship and I want to know how to let go of these memories. Thank you!
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: good memories

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi juankax,

If it helps to know, being reminded of an ex or having a memory about them cross your mind is super-common. After all, breaking up doesn't erase our memories, and it doesn't erase things about the relationship we enjoyed.

One thing that might help is to not dwell on the memories when they pop up. So, you notice the thought of "hearing this song makes me think of my ex," acknowledge that it's happening, and then let it go and shift your focus to other things. Does that make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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