So I talked to Mo today and they said to not be with a guy because it won’t make me straight. And that it’s unsafe for me mentally and emotionally and will leave me hurt and with traumas.
But hear me out, after I cried for a long time at the fact that there’s nothing to make me straight, even conversion therapy won’t work they said
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Mo also said that sex shouldn’t be and isn’t me just opening my legs and letting them do whatever. I get it but like, I also don’t. I know we’ve talked through this before but it sucks and I just want to know. I want to know for sure. How do I hide the fact I’m a Virgin? How do I do it in a car since I’m not comfortable meeting at a strangers house? How do I make it known that if he wants to use a condom that’s awesome but it he doesn’t I’m totally okay with it.
I’m gonna try my best to be sober for it but if they are wanting too and it’s consensual on there end, I don’t care about my feelings. I really don’t want to do it but I have too. And I know the checklists and stuff, I just need to do it. I’ve read so many articles on things and I just can’t stop thinking this.
I asked this girl on a date and this needs to happen before the date because like I need to know if I’m actually into girls fully which I already know I’m only them 99% but that 1% is really messing with my head. I can’t make it stop. I don’t have anyone else to talk to and I don’t really know why I’m typing this because I have to do it but I really don’t that’s why I’m asking for help/advice again
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif)