relationship and parents

[hinata]

hi,
i and my boyfriend have been in relationship for 5 years now.we want to get married and now the issue is he is 7months younger to me and the astrologer said that marrying a older women will reduce his lifespan.he is ready to marry me against all odds,same with me.but i want to know how true is what the astrologer said .does marrying a older women really reduce the lifespan of the man.our parents are against us getting married only because of this reason

[Sam W]

Hi Hinata,

There's nothing about marrying an "older woman" (I put that in quotes because while it's technically true, most people would not see a seven month age difference as that much of an age difference at all) that inherently reduces the lifespan of person. Honestly, things like lifestyle choices, environmental factors (like air or water quality), genetics, and plain old luck are likely to be far, far bigger contributors to how long someone lives than the age of their partner.

Since the two of you are thinking about marriage, what other kinds of conversations or factors have you talked about beyond his visit to the astrologer? For instance, have you talked about what your finances would look like? Your expectations about living together and things like housework? When or if you want to have kids?

[hinata]

We spoke about everything,finances, expectations of living together, kids, me and my boyfriend even spoke about astrology saying that marrying a younger man would reduce the lifespan and we decided that we don't believe in it. But for our parents satisfaction we let them talk to the astrologer and he said that marrying a older women would reduce the lifespan of the man and showed a proof of someone's that he died only 6 years of marriage. I am getting scared, even when i told myself that i dont believe in it, hearing that made my heart skip a beat, i can not live without my boyfriend either and can't see anything happening to him, i am not understanding what to do and how to convince our parents

[al]

Hi there hinata,

Why do you think that hearing that story felt scary? (Which, I should add, isn't proof necessarily that having been with an older person caused it, it just means that that particular person passed away at that time. Like Sam said, there isn't any well-researched scientific evidence to back up the claim that relative age affects anyone's lifespan.)
Is it possible that these feelings of fear and distress are about other issues related to this relationship and/or marriage? Are there any other aspects of your relationship with your family, or him, that make you feel nervous to think about?

You mentioned that you feel like you can't live without your boyfriend - could you speak about that a little bit more? I wonder if that is a source of anxiety at all; feeling like you can't live without someone by your side sounds pretty scary if it seems like that relationship might be at risk, or someone else doesn't approve of it. Does it feel important to you to get the approval of the astrologer, considering that you feel you don't believe in what they said?