Scarleteen

my boyfriend recently contacted his ex to apparently apologize for making her feel awful for awhile after he broke up with her. they then continued to play a mobile multiplayer game together for awhile. he hid this from me and i only found out because i confronted him about why he has a game history with his ex recently (cause the game history and the teammates someone had are available for people to view for awhile) and when i confronted him and told him how i felt he was very defensive and didn’t realize that what he did was wrong until i started to feel absolutely horrible and get tired of explaining how i feel. he said that he just wanted to apologize to her because nobody deserves to feel so crappy for so long and he hid him playing with her and messaging her happy new year and merry christmas because he didn’t want to start an argument. he said he’s going to block her on his social media and delete the game and he did it right infront of me. i honestly feel so deceived still but i let it go after he said they only played two to three games but it said on their game history that they played more than three games, probably 10+ games together. however, after two days, i saw him on the game again, he was just online but didnt play. i was scared that he messaged her in the game. so i decided to message his ex. i asked her if theyre still in contact, how many games they played, and how often do they talk. she said im being very insecure and that theres nothing going on between the two of them and that she doesnt even call my bf by his first name. i honestly dont know what to do anymore, i hate that i was deceived and now i dont even know if i want to believe my boyfriend whenever he says he hasnt been talking to her at all anymore. he’s said multiple times that he doesnt care about her and that he just wanted to apologize and stuff but why did he continue being in contact, and playing games with her? mind you he told me he was going to bed and after i let him go he went to the game and played with her. i honestly dont even know what to do i feel so horrible and insecure and i feel like absolute crap. i feel like a total jerk that i lashed out at his ex gf but it was all because i was swallowed by my emotions. i honestly dont know if hes lying to me at this point. i just feel so horrible. please help. i dont know what to do anymore.

Hi kiiiimibela,

I'm sorry that you're boyfriend is continuing to act in ways that aren't respectful of you or your feelings. It's not that having contact with an ex is in and of itself bad; plenty of people have casual, positive relationships with exes. But it sounds like this is turning into another instance where you're starting to doubt how considerate he actually is about your feelings.

Is this the same boyfriend you mentioned in your last post here? If so, are those things you mentioned in that last post--him yelling and scaring you, saying hurtful things to you--still happening?