Scarleteen

At this time I am gay.Maybe it will change back to bisexual,I don't know,but CURRENTLY i am gay.And proud.I totally don't care what my dad says that transboys can't be gay,I KNOW that's NOT true.Although I must admit that his homophobia sometimes hurts me.Like when he says,today politicians only talk about "fags,hookers and dykes"...

I'll just ignore him.

I have a hot (male) new neighbour.But he almost caught me checking him out LOL

I had 2 female crushes in the past but now I don't feel nothing towards girls.
When I was younger (read: until age 14,15) I had crushes only for guys and I never felt anything was missing,I never felt the need for girls.

Also an interesting dream I had when I was about 6:
> I was supposed to marry this very beautiful boy with long brown hair.I liked him a lot.But then he put flowers in his hair and started acting like a girl so I left him cause I wasn't attracted to him anymore,I wanted a boyfriend not a girlfriend.

Hey there, IAMScared. I'm glad this feels like a safe place for you to identify the way that you want to.

Living with a parent with homophobia (and from the sounds of things, also misogyny and hating on sex workers) can be really hard, especially when it's voiced. But by all means, homophobic people are for sure not ever reliable resources on being queer: ignorance is always what rules the roost of any kind of bias or bigotry, not wisdom or smarts. I'm sorry you have to live with or around that.

Hi IAmScared,

Echoing what Heather said, living with a parent who does neither understands or supports your sexuality is so challenging. Feeling unseen and unsupported can cause heartache and self-doubt, but you are so strong! I am so happy that you are finding confidence within yourself about how you identify at this moment!!

Sexuality is fluid and changes throughout one's life depending on so many factors. I'm so happy for you that you understand this and are owning your gay identity at this moment, even if you think it might change in the future. If you aren't feeling supported at home, there is a whole world out there who sees and supports you!! Continue to seek out that love and support from your friends and the LGBTQ+ community. We at Scarleteen are always here for you!

And re your dream, amazing that you remember this! What a powerful experience provided by your subconscious dream world.

Thanks for your replies! <3

Dad is trouble but I have full 100% supportive mum.She knows I'm feminine and gay and yet she still believes me when I say I'm trans.Not all cis guys are manly,either - I had a chance to meet few cis men who were raised male and yet are more feminine then I am.

I guess there were signs....When I look at a woman I can see if she has pretty eyes like nice eye make up or maybe pretty hair but with guys it's different,I can see a guy and say "yeah that guy is exactly my type". With girls I can't do that.

I feel connection with guys while with girls it's just "she is pretty". With guys it's "he is damn HOT!"

Thank God mum.

I'm glad your mum is supportive, and that you have someone to turn to. As others have said it can be super challenging to live with a parent who doesn't support or understand your sexuality, so it's really good to hear that your mum is there for you.