I was sexually assaulted three times

[fading_west]

I am so bored right now. Staying home ALL DAY LONG is not easy. Having time to think is not fun. Having time to remember the ugly parts of life is no fun either. So now I am going to talk about some ugly stuff of my past and after I am done doing this I am going to hit the gym and enjoy some sweat (part of that isn't true).

None of this is nice and in all truthfulness you don't need to read this. I just want to get it out.

When I was 8 I was molested by a boy who was 13 or 14. He was my math tutor, and we worked one on one together in a back room. I blame the school more than anybody because they never should have allowed it. We should have been working together in the empty cafeteria or one of the empty visible rooms near the school office.

When I was 11 I was molested by a girl who was maybe 16 or 17. I was in the Girl Scouts and we had a 2 night stay at a camp near Santa Cruz, California. First time I was ever in the wilderness, I remember the birds and the pine smell and the mountain train ride and the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. But on night two one of the girls molested me. I didn't know her but I was with her for most of that day having fun, but I trusted her too much I guess. She didn't hurt me, but she did make me very confused about everything.

And two years ago I had sex with a boy for the first time. I always believed that pain and blood was a normal thing for losing your virginity. The boy was my first relationship but it was partially a secret because he was 17 and I was 14. He pressured me on doing it, and I remember him looking at me telling me that it would hurt but that he would go really fast. I thought fast was his way of helping me out for my first time.

I had a boyfriend last year who was a true sweetheart! I told him about my first time having sex and how I was afraid and he never ever pressured me on doing anything with him. It was really nice knowing what a wonderful relationship could be.

And now I have a new boyfriend (my other boyfriend left for college) and he is just as nice and kind. I haven't told him much, but that's only because we are seeing each other because of this virus thing going on.

I read some of the ugly stories on here, it sucks that I am not alone when it comes to abuse. My older sister knows all about everything in detail, and she has shared stories with me as well. I guess we all go through it eventually.

[Mo]

Hi fading_west, thanks for sharing all of that with us. I hope it was helpful in some way to get all of those thoughts out in one place. I'm so sorry that those people choose to assault you. I'm glad to hear that you've had success talking about some of your experiences with some trusted people in your life, though, and I hope you continue to have those folks you can turn to for listening and for support. Is there any way in particular that we can support you right now, other than being here to listen to your experiences?