My First Time

[laurabriann]

Hi,
We've been together with my bf for 19 months and we're in a long distance relationship for 5 months. We're doing well so far! I've been thinking about making love to my bf. Last year I wasn't ready for it. But now, I know that we really love each other and no matter what happens to us in the future, I would not regret it. I'm 17 and he is 19 and we are both virgins. Yet, we are both sexually active. My only concern is that according to an app I use to track my periods, I will be ovulating around the time he will be in here. Of course we will be using condoms, and we are both aware of the fact that condoms are only 98% effective with the perfect use. Do you think it would pose a pregnancy risk if we use condoms in ALL genital-to-genital contacts and if he does not ejaculate during the penetration and not anywhere around my vagina? Does condom and withdrawal combination decrease the risk of pregnancy? What do you recommend? PS: I do not want to get on the birth control pills.

Thank you.

[Jacob]

Hey Laura,

98% is actually pretty high... remember that that is based on the likelihood that in a sample of 1000 people who used it as their only method for a whole year, that they got pregnant during that year. So within that there are a whole number of other decisions that 1000 people made which could effect it (there is no way of knowing how many times any of them had sex or how much experience of using lube they had etc)... when it comes to having sex once using it (vs over a whole year), then your likelihood of pregnancy is much lower and the effectiveness is more about if it breaks or not, which you can help with the use of lubrication not to mention, as you suggest, withdrawal which will logically make pregnancy less likely too, because semen will be nowhere near your fallopian tubes if he ejaculates, which as you can imagine is something of an obstacle for the sperms.

I would say that despite all this accidents do happen, so it is important to be happy with at least some level of risk, albeit tiny, and be at least prepared for an unexpected condom break, where you might want to get hold of emergency contraception, which as you are 17 should be available for free.

It sounds like you've been thinking a lot about risk and trying to be as certain as you can that you're prepared for something new... I also would say that as far as your sexual health and pregnancy risks are concerned you've been extremely responsible, and in my opinion, responsibility and good information are really some of the best contraceptive tools you have... (those and condoms + other methods of course). Hopefully with that it can be a totally fun and relatively safe experience.

[laurabriann]

Thank you so much for your response Jacob. There will always be some level of risk, then, no matter which method we use. I guess I can be happy with that.