Scarleteen

Hello Al,Mo,Sam W,Karyn,Heather and the rest of you amazing guys and gals!


So I don't know when I lost my virginity.Was it when you-know-who first did a sexual thing to me - --- (put his penis in my vagina until I yelled from pain) or when he tried putting it in my anus or was it oral sex (when he rapped me)?
Or was my first time fingering with another ftm boy? Or was my first time fingering myself? Or was it when I was pushing my dildo inside of me until I started bleeding?
I'm so confused

Hi there, IAmScared.

The thing about virginity is that it's more of a cultural concept than a medical one; what virginity means, exactly (and what it means to "lose" it), depends on who you ask and what their cultural and/or religious background is. We have what I think is a great discussion of virginity and the various ways people come to understand their own relationship to the concept here: Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context
I know that not having a clear answer for you might just make things more confusing, and I apologize for that, but there's no official definition of what virginity is or how someone stops being a virgin. I personally think the concept of virginity is best used when we're talking about consensual sex only; I wouldn't say that someone who's never had consensual sex with another person but was raped is no longer a virgin.