Scarleteen

For the last few weeks I have been watching and helping out my 11 year old neighbor, her mom Is paying me for it but I would have done all of this for free.

Her and I have been doing school work together, and for the last couple days we have been talking about bodies and health because this is what was assigned to her. What happened this morning was her asking me what it was like to have boobs, and I did not know how to answer that. What she asked next was if she could touch mine, and I instantly said NO! Her question was VERY inappropriate, but she didn't know this, but I took it as highly inappropriate and was slightly mad at her for saying such a thing. I did apologize for how I acted, and all I did say was that in time she would know what it would be like on having them.

I feel like I screwed up. She was just curious about it, and I was the same at her age, but now I have this ugly feeling in me that I hurt this little friendship between us all because I took her question the wrong way.

Did I handle this the right way? I thought about telling her mom that she should do this health homework with her daughter, but at the same time I think it would be really nice if I could tell this girl the reality of what her life will be like in a few years.

I can understand why that would have been a startling and slightly upsetting question to get in the moment, but I think it could be helpful to revisit that conversation and talk a little bit more about why you had the reaction you did and how there needs to be an expectation of privacy around people's breasts and genitals to the extent that asking someone to touch them is going to be pretty inappropriate in many situations, even if you're just curious. Are there other questions she might have about bodies in general or your experiences with puberty or breast development that you would feel more comfortable answering? If so, it's fine to set some boundaries about what you will and won't talk about and answer a few questions, but if this just feels like a bit too much for you, or you just aren't comfortable with the situation at all (which is a totally valid way to feel about this), it's all right to let her mom know that you aren't up for helping with those particular assignments.