Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...

Unread post by KittyPink »

So, I'm super nervous as trans girl about asking girls out, especially lesbians. Because of the fact I feel predatory even when I'm not and I feel like even though I am a girl, even with surgery down there I'll always be "different", I don't know if it's just exclusionary retoric getting to me because I don't "pass" fully as a woman. Also, like I'm not sure how to ask girls out without just being weird about it, and guys I just feel easier with being blunt with upfront about having feelings for them as long as they're not chasery or transphobic.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Jacob
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Re: Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...

Unread post by Jacob »

Hi Kitty!

I feel like, for those of us aware of how intense dating, and being asked out can be for women, it does heighten worries of not wanting to seem like one of those creepy people if we do want to approach them. I think that's a reasonable thing to feel. That hesitance could even mean you tend to give someone more space who has has been bombarded with propositions lately.

I don't think there's a surefire 'way' to ask any given person out that we can guarantee will always be taken the right way, so it's worth noting that it's always going to be a gamble to some degree.

If you need more time to gauge the chemistry with people of a particular gender that sounds that sounds workable! It's also pretty common in how I see people dating accross different genders.
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
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