Am I overreacting or was this assault?
Posted: Mon May 04, 2020 12:45 pm
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Several years ago in college I worked with a tutor who helped me in a lot of subjects that were important to my degree. Over time I became attracted to his intelligence and he was good looking too though I had no idea he was nearly 15 years older than me. After we were done working together professionally I asked him out. He said yes and we had a good first date, we hugged at the end but nothing happened. After that I sent some flirty texts which was exciting and thrilling as I had never been in a relationship before and I felt like finally someone had a sexual attraction to me. Before our second date I had suggested that we make out (now I had never kissed someone and was super self conscious about it). Looking back now I put it out there that I was ready to be physical but I realized that it was not the case. While we were sitting on the couch talking he suddenly put his hand down my shirt and started fondling my breasts. I was caught of guard and felt like i couldn't say no so I shifted positions to look out the window and he started caressing my butt so I moved again. He asked if I wanted to kiss him and I said "sure". I had never been kissed before so I didn't know what I was doing and he kept correcting me that I was doing it wrong. I felt super uncomfortable so I excused myself to go to the bathroom trying to figure out how I was going to leave. I walked out and he asked if I wanted to practice kissing some more but I suggested we take his dog to the park instead so that we were not alone. While at the park I made an excuse that I got a text that a friend needed my help studying for an exam and I left. In the car he kept talking about how he loved to watch my body move and how I turned him on. I dropped him off and left as quickly as possible. I hate to admit that I felt violated when really I basically asked for it. I ended things and apologized or my behavior. It took me two years after this to find another guy attractive and even consider the possibility of dating. I should've been stronger to say no. I should've never hinted I was ready to be intimate. Does this even count as a me too or possible sexual assault from the fondling. I don't know maybe I'm overreacting but it has really affected my desire to date. I'm just so embarrassed still.
Several years ago in college I worked with a tutor who helped me in a lot of subjects that were important to my degree. Over time I became attracted to his intelligence and he was good looking too though I had no idea he was nearly 15 years older than me. After we were done working together professionally I asked him out. He said yes and we had a good first date, we hugged at the end but nothing happened. After that I sent some flirty texts which was exciting and thrilling as I had never been in a relationship before and I felt like finally someone had a sexual attraction to me. Before our second date I had suggested that we make out (now I had never kissed someone and was super self conscious about it). Looking back now I put it out there that I was ready to be physical but I realized that it was not the case. While we were sitting on the couch talking he suddenly put his hand down my shirt and started fondling my breasts. I was caught of guard and felt like i couldn't say no so I shifted positions to look out the window and he started caressing my butt so I moved again. He asked if I wanted to kiss him and I said "sure". I had never been kissed before so I didn't know what I was doing and he kept correcting me that I was doing it wrong. I felt super uncomfortable so I excused myself to go to the bathroom trying to figure out how I was going to leave. I walked out and he asked if I wanted to practice kissing some more but I suggested we take his dog to the park instead so that we were not alone. While at the park I made an excuse that I got a text that a friend needed my help studying for an exam and I left. In the car he kept talking about how he loved to watch my body move and how I turned him on. I dropped him off and left as quickly as possible. I hate to admit that I felt violated when really I basically asked for it. I ended things and apologized or my behavior. It took me two years after this to find another guy attractive and even consider the possibility of dating. I should've been stronger to say no. I should've never hinted I was ready to be intimate. Does this even count as a me too or possible sexual assault from the fondling. I don't know maybe I'm overreacting but it has really affected my desire to date. I'm just so embarrassed still.