Hi there, Dollybeats- welcome to the boards!

Would you tell us a bit more about what you feel when you try to finger yourself? Do you notice any pain or tightness? How is it different from when your boyfriend fingers you?

Hi there, CatHaru26 Oof, I understand how that would be a bummer! I think you're doing the right thing by focusing on going slow and using lots of lube. You may just need some more time to get used to these new sensations. On that note, I'm wondering if there is anything about the sensations from th...

Hi Nat! You know, there is nothing wrong with changing the words you use to describe your orientation or coming out multiple times. You can change the labels you use as many times as you want in your life. You don't have any obligation to find one word and stick to it. You can also use more than one...

Hi there, Jay27 Oof, I understand how that would feel so invalidating- PIV intercourse definitely isn't the only real sex. It is possible that your friend has some attachment to the idea of being a virgin that is keeping her from unpacking the implications of her words or properly considering how th...

Hi Viennakuko, I want to gently challenge this idea you have about the 'real thing'. Orgasms have a lot of great publicity, so I understand why you would want to experience strong ones. But they are not necessarily the most important part of sex- after all, they only last for a few seconds. The sati...

Hi Bowler, I've changed your username!

Hi Demigirl09, I understand why you would have that thought. We live in cisnormative societies that tell us that girls must have a certain type of body. But I think you and I know that isn't true. Some girls ejaculate like you do, so girls can produce semen. I know it isn't always easy to get this k...

Hi Laayiv, You've touched upon this tendency of yours to fixate on things that feel wrong to you before. Do you think this might be related to the mental health difficulties that you've mentioned? I've noticed that you can be very self-deprecating, like you think very little of yourself. I understan...

Hi Lyle Lanley, Yikes, I'm sorry it went badly with M! Just because dating isn't right for him, doesn't mean it isn't right for everyone. I can see how this would be a bummer, but maybe this knowledge is for the best- now you can look elsewhere. On that note, good luck with F! You're right that havi...

Hi, FullOfQuestions!

Thank you for the compliments- I’m glad you experienced something you feel so good about.

Hi Strawberry, welcome to the boards. I merged two of your posts so I could respond to both. I'm sorry, it sounds like you're dealing with so much shame and guilt for what happened. I want to let you know that to me, it seems pretty clear that the incident you described was not COCSA. Rather, it was...

Hi Laayiv,

I'm so sorry, but, which part did you want advice on exactly?

Hi there, Muhammada1257! This is a good question since it is very important to use lube when you're exploring anal sex. Saliva is okay to use on the penis, but it doesn't make for a very good lube- it evaporates and dries quickly, and doesn't have the slippery consistency that lubes need. Coconut oi...

Hi Demigirl09, welcome to the boards! I understand how this isn't a very comfortable question, but I'm glad you've asked! There are definitely things you can try to manage dysphoria in these situations. Would you tell us a bit more about the dysphoria? Have you noticed that the feelings are focused ...

Hi there, Lonewanderer- welcome to the boards! I'm sorry, it sounds like you're really struggling with these fears. Don't worry though, you're not going to be alone forever. Would you tell us a bit more about what makes you feel afraid? Do these fears make it difficult for you to make friends as wel...

Hi Starling1010, I'm glad the gloves help with your sensory issues! Getting rid of that grossed-out reaction you have might involve slowly getting more used to the sensation, in the same way that a food with an odd texture or taste might end up growing on you. You could try and see if exposing yours...

Hi there, Xiaoge. Am I correct in understanding that you are concerned about the chance of receiving an STI (sexually transmitted infection) if you have casual sex? There are steps you can take to reduce such risks and keep yourself safe, like using condoms and making sure both you and anyone you ha...

Hi Viennakuko, Hmmm, I'm wondering if you are experiencing an orgasm, just one that isn't as strong as you expect it to be. There is this idea out there that orgasms are always incredibly intense, but that doesn't have to be the case. If you're experiencing a sort of peak in pleasure, followed by a ...

Hi Ginger! A vibrator can offer a different kind of sensation to the kind your fingers do, so you may just need to experiment a little to find the best way to use it. You're right that using a vibrator might feel better after your body adjusts, and you figure out the settings and find your groove. I...

Hi Itzxnikki,

Since you've been having difficulties finishing when your boyfriend fingers you, I wonder, have you been able to reach orgasm on your own?

If you're still confused after reading the resources, would you describe what happened? Maybe we can offer clarifications or advice.

Hi there, FullOfQuestions- don't worry, you're not a bother! Yes, I'd say it is possible for people to have multiple orgasms like this. I've heard people describe similar experiences before. You were masturbating in a new way, so it makes sense that your orgasm felt different as well. Usually just o...

Hi there, Starling1010! Don't worry about your wording, it's good. I'm a little concerned about the pain that you've mentioned. Experiencing pain isn't a normal or necessary part of exploring insertive/penetrative sex. Rather, it is a sign that something needs to change. For example, you might need ...

Hi Staysoft, welcome to the boards! You know, you don't have to be ashamed of being attracted to someone you don't like as a person. It happens, and there is nothing inherently wrong with it. That said, I understand why you would want to avoid masturbating to fantasies involving this person. Avoidin...

Hi Riblark, Orgasms don't always provide a very complete sense of release, so I think it is possible to have the feeling that you've described. Do you think it might help if you used a lower setting on your vibrator? And have you tried taking a break when you start feeling overstimulated and trying ...

Hi PotatoTheCatfox, I can see how that would make accessing therapy really difficult. But maybe we can find a way around that. If you attend university, you may be able to access therapy through your school. Some therapists offer sliding scale pricing, which could help you manage the cost. You may h...