Search found 8070 matches

by Heather
Wed May 29, 2024 6:44 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: having feelings for a friend that ive only known for a few weeks. what do i do?
Replies: 1
Views: 72

Re: having feelings for a friend that ive only known for a few weeks. what do i do?

Hey, Silly, it's nice to see you again! I have a few things to offer you around all of this. I think the idea that it's perverted to have sexual feelings for someone comes from our pretty sex-negative culture, cultural messaging that sex that sex is dirty but love or friendship are wholesome when th...
by Heather
Wed May 29, 2024 6:31 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was it "mild assault?"
Replies: 1
Views: 46

Re: Was it "mild assault?"

Hey there, hadleycee. I'm so sorry that you have experienced this, but I am glad that you found us and came here to ask for support. I don't think you're making a big deal out of nothing. I can't speak to "mild" assault or not, because I don't really think of assault as having grades like ...
by Heather
Mon May 20, 2024 8:27 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Desire to take my bullet vibe to school!
Replies: 3
Views: 510

Re: Desire to take my bullet vibe to school!

I want to add that there isn't anything wrong with fantasizing about this.

In fact, you can think about that fantasy during your private masturbation at home, and that right there may give you the excitement boost you're looking for. Fantasy is powerful!
by Heather
Sun May 19, 2024 11:20 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 458

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

I'm sorry that this is feeling so daunting for you! My best advice is to stop trying. In other words, you don't need a word for something that you don't feel yet fully able to describe, especially something like this where it's not like it's required for anything. You can also stop thinking about wh...
by Heather
Thu May 16, 2024 1:58 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Missing the person who I’m dating when I’m away from them
Replies: 8
Views: 558

Re: Missing the person who I’m dating when I’m away from them

AQ: Thanks so much for saying such lovely things! I really appreciated that. And I hear you, for sure. My life experience is also that the longer romantic or sexual relationships go on, the more they tend to develop friendship aspects (though sometimes that's how those relationships began, so it's a...
by Heather
Wed May 15, 2024 12:31 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: vaginal and vulvar pain after waking up , was i sexually assaulted in my sleep ?
Replies: 1
Views: 392

Re: vaginal and vulvar pain after waking up , was i sexually assaulted in my sleep ?

Hi there, beena, welcome to the boards. I'm sorry this is why you're here, but I am glad that you are here. It would be very unlikely to be sexually assaulted and not wake up unless you were drugged or otherwise intoxicated. Do you think those things were possibilities? If not, what seems most likel...
by Heather
Wed May 15, 2024 12:26 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Missing the person who I’m dating when I’m away from them
Replies: 8
Views: 558

Re: Missing the person who I’m dating when I’m away from them

Hey there, AQ! I'm just poking my head in to add something a bit to the side of what you're asking, but that I think might also be helpful. Nothing I say is to discount your already excellent observations about your desire for more physical touch in your other relationships, just so you know! I do t...
by Heather
Thu May 09, 2024 8:46 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Did it count?
Replies: 6
Views: 438

Re: Did it count?

I hope that this isn't overwhelming, response-wise, but I also want to just drop some support and care around the fact that you find yourself feeling unable to avoid this person because he's your rabbi's son. It's extra awful that your religious community isn't a safety net for you, and seems like b...
by Heather
Wed May 08, 2024 12:57 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: break up
Replies: 7
Views: 455

Re: break up

Hey there, naurmi. Were you able to read this piece Sam shared near the top of this thread? https://www.scarleteen.com/read/feelings/getting-through-breakup-without-actually-breaking It offers a lot of help with managing your feelings in a breakup. You know, you probably would have been completely o...
by Heather
Wed May 08, 2024 8:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I form my sexual values...
Replies: 1
Views: 323

Re: How do I form my sexual values...

Hello there. Before anything else, my first piece of advice would be to look back at a couple of your previous posts here and consider engaging with them. You've asked similar things here before, and a couple folks have started conversations with you about this stuff in those threads that you haven'...
by Heather
Mon May 06, 2024 11:31 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: traumatizing yourself???
Replies: 1
Views: 275

Re: traumatizing yourself???

So, we can't sexually assault ourselves, because sexual assault, by definition, is only something one person can do to another. But we can do sexual things to ourselves that we don't feel good about -- at the time or after -- or that may or can be self-harm or part of it, for sure. That PTSD: did th...
by Heather
Mon May 06, 2024 11:29 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?
Replies: 8
Views: 12842

Re: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

So, ultimately in terms of worrying less, you are just going to have to work on letting this go. It is something that happened in the past and, save potentially using a PEP, something you can't do anything about. Self-loathing also isn't going to help you out here. In the wise words of Elsa, let it ...
by Heather
Sun May 05, 2024 9:59 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm afraid I'll turn out to be heterosexual
Replies: 2
Views: 336

Re: I'm afraid I'll turn out to be heterosexual

I forgot to share the link with you that I meant to! I think a read through this will give you a lot of information and support around this: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone.
by Heather
Sun May 05, 2024 9:50 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm afraid I'll turn out to be heterosexual
Replies: 2
Views: 336

Re: I'm afraid I'll turn out to be heterosexual

Hey there, PomPom. So, there are WAY more orientations and sexual identities than just heterosexual or homosexual, and some others do describe the attractions you are feeling more accurately. For starters, both homosexual and heterosexual people are not always (and I would say rarely, when people ar...
by Heather
Thu Apr 25, 2024 9:30 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How to practice sex positivity
Replies: 5
Views: 3687

Re: How to practice sex positivity

I also just want to put in a reminder here that sex work is real work, and the chosen work of many real people. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you find the fact that there are prostitutes disappointing, but when you talk about sex workers here, please try and do so in the respectful wa...
by Heather
Thu Apr 25, 2024 8:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: is it selfish to not want children?
Replies: 1
Views: 3230

Re: is it selfish to not want children?

Even if it IS selfish, we all not only get to think of and center ourselves in these choices, we 1000% should, if we're going to make them responsibly. No one owes the word children, no one owes the world their body in this regard, and there is no one right thing to do, especially where the actual p...
by Heather
Wed Apr 24, 2024 1:55 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: About sexual noises...
Replies: 14
Views: 4214

Re: About sexual noises...

You don't need to be sorry about it! But I have seen a pattern of you kind of trying to figure out or manage sexual partners or partnerships that don't yet exist, and I gotta tell you, that's just not a sound use of your time or energy. I'd also say it might even make it so that when you do connect ...
by Heather
Wed Apr 24, 2024 12:31 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: About sexual noises...
Replies: 14
Views: 4214

Re: About sexual noises...

I can't tell you what to care about or not in this or any respect, honestly. I can think of a bunch of different reasons people might care about or be invested in (or not) this or any aspect of porn, but all of those cares, or the lack of them, are very personal. I do think that it sounds like you'r...
by Heather
Wed Apr 24, 2024 8:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: About sexual noises...
Replies: 14
Views: 4214

Re: About sexual noises...

If I understand which question (I'm only really seeing one) this is about, no one is going to be able to tell you how much of the sounds you hear people making in all pornography -- that's an awfully big and very diverse pool that also spans at least centuries! -- are faked, aren't faked, or are rea...
by Heather
Wed Apr 03, 2024 12:29 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: can't finger myself. vaginismus?
Replies: 16
Views: 7573

Re: can't finger myself. vaginismus?

Lyle, what you are describing to me does sound just like a septate hymen, and I'm betting that's what it is: that's hymenal tissue wearing away in such a way that more than one opening formed and is widening. That's one of several typical variations with hymens, and you'll find it in the link Sam sh...
by Heather
Wed Apr 03, 2024 12:27 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: am i pregnant ?
Replies: 2
Views: 1899

Re: am i pregnant ?

Just a reminder that we have content that answers questions like this very easily! You'll find it here, for starters: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/can-i-g ... r-pass-sti
by Heather
Tue Apr 02, 2024 12:20 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Stand up for myself, or walk away?
Replies: 6
Views: 2666

Re: Stand up for myself, or walk away?

Hey again. I was going to say that what Sam said right up there -- before you posted it -- resonated with me, too. I don't think any of these choices seem to involve NOT standing up for yourself. After all, this whole set of choices is about you and centering your own needs and goals and feelings. A...
by Heather
Mon Apr 01, 2024 3:00 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Stand up for myself, or walk away?
Replies: 6
Views: 2666

Re: Stand up for myself, or walk away?

Hey there, E_F. We've talked before, and while I'm not glad this is the reason you're here, I'm glad to see you back. I'm wondering: do you think it's worth exploring other avenues that could help you attend college? I'm not sure how wealthy your family or school district is, but if the answer isn't...
by Heather
Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:56 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Experience in group sex
Replies: 5
Views: 4783

Re: Experience in group sex

I do want to add a thing! Group sex is going to vary just as much -- if not more so -- as sex with any one given partner is. I say even more so because more people partnered with more people = exponentially more possible variation. So, in a lot of ways, asking someone what their group sex experience...
by Heather
Wed Feb 21, 2024 7:29 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?
Replies: 14
Views: 5064

Re: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?

Hi there, Ayn. I have been out this week with illness, but in checking in, I have noticed your thread and wanted to pop in today on it. I'm the person Willa was offering up for you to talk with in chat if you want. I'm in and from Chicago, I was unhoused on and off here in my teens and some of my tw...