Hi colonelcornball, I'm glad Andy's answer was helpful! I do want to add that while it's good to have a plan for what to do if a condom breaks (which becomes way less likely if you follow all the steps for correct use outlined here: All the Barriers! All the Time! ), forgetting a condom isn't really...

Okay! So, the "Becoming Out" piece Kier linked you to has a section on safety planning as part of coming out. Looking at that, are there steps Liz (the author) recommends that feel doable to you, or like you know how to start putting them in place? As far as meeting other queer folks, I th...

Got it. Would it be helpful to talk about making that safety plan? Like I said, I'm really hoping it ends up not being needed, but having it can take away some of the anxiety attached to coming out, as well as make it so that if things go badly, you're not scrambling to come up with a plan. Can you ...

Hi rodya, I would absolutely continue with your appointment and your planned timeline for starting gender affirming care. It's very kind of you to be mindful that there are other things going on in your family, but there's also the fact that you're part of that family and your needs matter in it too...

Hi Jax-in-the-box, I just wanted to follow up and add a few things. One is that, if you're able to be physically near your friend, we'd be okay with them using your account to ask questions and get support from us, as long as we knew that's what was happening. Two, if your friend thinks his mom woul...

A new piece from guest writer Maya Strong: When It's Harder to See It

Hi Demigirl09, I think you're right that, sadly, even being a member of the queer or trans community doesn't automatically mean that someone will be interested in or go to the effort of learning about the experiences of other groups within that community. Really, at a certain point all we can do is ...

Hi Jaylen23, As long as there is at least one layer of clothing present, then there isn't a pregnancy risk. Too, when we're talking about pregnancy risks, not every situation is different, because what can, or cannot, cause pregnancy doesn't change, and whether or not there's a pregnancy risk depend...

Hi lb07, You're right that the fact that you haven't had one by now is a bit odd, although it's not completely unheard of for menarche to come this late in someone's teens. I can't say for certain why it hasn't come yet, but it may be worth bringing up with a healthcare provider just to check to see...

Hi dontaskneverask, It's pretty common for people who experience attraction to more than one gender to not experience that attraction the exact same way for each gender. That can be for a lot of reasons, including the one you suggested, which is that if we're relatively new to dating overall or have...

Hi Yohanz, You can find the answer to that in the piece Kier linked you. Too, I think this piece will provide important, additional information: Can people with no sexual experience have an STI? I do think that, going forward, it would be sound for you and your girlfriend to read up on and talk abou...

Hi Demigirl, In addition to what Latha said, I want to add a few other points that might help. One is that it's not inherently nonbinaryphobic to point out that the experiences of a non-binary person and a trans woman might be different in some ways if we're talking about a specific nonbinary person...

Hi Sour_Snakes, This is tricky, because while assault intense enough to leave bruises would usually be something it was unlikely to sleep through, if you take medication to help you sleep, depending on what you take there is a chance that you didn't wake up when you otherwise would have. To me, that...

You're very welcome, I'm glad my reply was helpful! It's great that you have a therapist you're working with, and I absolutely understand how something like assault can be painful or difficult to bring up in therapy, even if we have a pretty good relationship with our therapist overall. If it would ...

Hi Archer, In addition to all the really good advice Kier gave above, I want to ask if you've had a chance to read the safety plan yet. Are there steps in the "safety before you leave: getting help and support from others" section that you're already doing? If not, are there one or two tha...

Got it, I'm glad he at least has you as someone who can help him get support and information! Would he be comfortable contacting a local rape crisis center or similar resource if we could find him one? They could offer him support with some degree on anonymity, and could also help him navigate his p...

Hi Sunreis, So, with the caveat that there are plenty of ace folks who are also survivors of sexual assault, I will say that it does sound like the assault and its fallout are playing a big role here; it sounds like you are interested in sex and experiencing sexual desire, but that when you think ab...

So, the tricky thing is, while we can certainly offer information and context to help you work out what, if any, word you want to use to describe your sexual orientation, you're ultimately the expert on it and get to decide how you describe it. I think a good starting place would be to read through ...

Got it. I do think it's worth looking into the other resources she could refer you to, including other therapists, to see if some have a sliding scale or are otherwise affordable; when we're dealing with something like depression, it's common to have periods of time where it doesn't feel as severe o...

So, even if we're close to someone, they still need to check with us before doing something sexual with us; even when we're dating someone, we still have to ask before doing something sexual (and if they're just sitting or laying there rather than actively, positively engaged in what's happening, we...

You're welcome! Did she happen to say why any of the services she could refer you to for individual therapy were not free like she is? Or is there something specific about her that allows her not to charge for clients? Regardless, if she ends up not being able to refer you to someone free or low cos...

Okay! So, if this is the same therapist who initially brought up the idea that you might be dealing with depression, I would say something like "you mentioned you think I might have depression, can we talk more about that, and can we focus our sessions on how I could learn to manage it?" I...

Hi ellieww,

So, while we can certainly talk about how people come to understand their sexual orientation, I want to check first: was this interaction with your friend something you consented to? Or is this something she did without checking with you first?

That's a tricky one, because the only way to know if a person is a potentially a good partner for us (or a good friend, for that matter) is to interact with them and see how we get along. But it can also help to know that having those interactions where we get to know people is a skill, and like any...

Hi PomPom, In a previous post, you mentioned you've been seeing a psychologist who suggested you might have a depression diagnosis. If you're still seeing that person, I think it's time to have a more in-depth talk about that diagnosis and what steps you can take to manage it. I say that because wha...