Can’t get aroused and I can’t feel any pleasure down there

[kitkatk8]

I have a sex drive, and think about sex a lot. But I don’t get aroused or feel a certain way about it. And I’ve never been able to feel any type of sexual pleasure. I’ve tried many different ways to get stimulated and nothing works. My doctor tells me to get off of birth control because that is the reason for my issues but I don’t know what to do!! Why can’t I get aroused and why do I have no pleasurable sensations down there?

[Jacob]

Hi Kitkatk!

I wish your doctor had offered to help you choose a different form of medication instead of simply recommending you quit altogether! That seems ill-advised to me!

In terms of connecting with your own body and pleasure. I would start from the things that you are experiencing... For example when you say "sex drive" what does that mean for you? Might that feeling be a good starting point?

I'd also say it's worth continuing to learn about your body, both by reading and by reflecting on how physical touch feels for you, even if not immediately arousing, especially when mixed with fantasies, not so that an instant source of physical pleasure appears out of nowhere, which would be great but more so you have more tools in your toolbox when an opportunity does arise.

Here's a great place to start:
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

Here's our mega-resource on birth control options: Birth Control Bingo