Birth Control Experiences: Outside/Male Condoms

[Johanna]

For those looking into the different methods of birth control to find what's right for them, here's one of several threads where users can report their experiences with a given method so that other users can get a more personal idea of what using a given method is like when they're looking into what might work best for them.

Condoms are also a barrier method that can help reduce the risk of STI transmission. You can also use this thread to post your experience of using this method also or exclusively for safer sex.

If you have used or do use this method, please report on it in the following format:

Pros: List what you have experienced as the pros or benefits -- the good parts -- of using this method.

Cons: List what you've experienced as the downsides or cons of using this method.

Ease of use: Talk about how easy -- or not -- it's been for you and/or your partner to use, access and afford this method, how it's worked out in your relationships, etc.

Effectiveness: Talk about how well this method has protected you from pregnancy, and if it ever has failed, note that, including any explanation of how or why, if you know or suspect how or why.

Feel free to also add any extra notes, hints or tips!

(Originally posted here by Heather.)

[Ruth]

Pros: Felt very obviously like a piece of contraception, which reduced anxiety over pregnancy risks, either me or my partners could buy them so the onus of responsibility wasn't just on one of us, and they're pretty darn effective which was also comforting.

Cons: Run out? No sex. Also the aftermath tidy up is not the most glamorous part.

Ease of use: Easy as pie - even after having only practiced on a banana.

Effectiveness: While 100% effective re: pregnancy, the condom did break once, which meant I then went on to take emergency contraception. This was down to insufficient lubrication, though - not really the fault of the condom. (Though, advice - lube! Lube is your friend!)

[Peonies]

Pros: Very effective when used correctly, you can "see" the birth control working and it's obvious when it doesn't. Not expensive and available at any drugstore or box store such as WalMart, also offers protection against STIs!

Cons: A method you have to think about before having sex

Ease of use: Easy - just follow the directions.

Effectiveness: While I use male condoms in addition to the pill, I have only had one break once it my 5 years of using them. It was due to not having lube on hand and having sex anyway. I was also on the pill when this happened so I didn't panic because I knew my pill had be covered. (Ahh the beauty of the buddy system!) I used them for almost two years on their own without any other form of birth control and I always felt very protected.

[Redskies]

I've used outside condoms as my main/sole method for a few years.

Pros: I'd use these anyway (with any penis-having partner, or an equivalent barrier with any non-penis-having partner) as a measure against STIs, so I'm doing absolutely nothing extra or different for contraceptive purposes. I really like that a penis-having partner also has to do something and be involved in contraception and it's not only my responsibility. I like the built-in final check about sexual partner appropriateness for me: if someone was reluctant to use one with me, they would immediately show themselves as an unsuitable, unsafe and unwanted potential sexual partner for me (happily, this has not yet happened); I'd rather have that kind of information about someone before being sexual in those ways with them. As far as I remember (from a previous monogamous relationship where I used another method and we stopped using condoms), I don't notice any difference in feeling between using a condom and not using one. I like that if I or I-and-partner mess up using one it's something I know about and can take other measures about (like emergency contraception). My body seems pretty happy left to its own devices with my menstrual cycle, so I like not making any changes to that with regular hormonal contraception.

Cons: Statistically, condoms aren't quite as effective as some other methods. I am almost sure that I wouldn't use condoms as a sole method if I was ever in a place where emergency contraception was inaccesible to me, as I'd want more security, and I wouldn't want to be in a position where I knew there'd been an error but I couldn't do anything about it.

Ease of use: With all partners except one, super-easy. The extra little bits we need to do to put it on/off and dispose of it feel just like other bits and pieces that crop up during sex, like moving to make someone more comfortable or for things to feel better, and any other peculiar little things about bodies and body fluids. With one partner, repeated difficulties of many descriptions, including condoms coming off, feeling uncomfortable to that partner, and loss of erection; I can't know for sure, but I strongly suspect that's to do with that person's thoughts and feelings about sex, unrelated to condoms (that partner is very pro-condom usage), and them not having yet discovered which condoms really work well for their body. Ease of use and penis-having partner satisfaction across all partners, I think, has been better when the penis-having partner has their own preferred condom type or brand that fits them well and feels good. Correct condom fit: it seems to be a thing.

Effectiveness: I've not had an unintended pregnancy while using this method. I've never had a condom break. User error that might have compromised effectiveness less than a handful of times, both before I knew comprehensively how to use them properly (didn't hold the condom on the penis at the end of intercourse), and with the partner where we've had difficulties. I knew when there'd been an error and took emergency contraception.