First time nerves

[Maddybob1]

Okay so
Ive been dating the girl who was my best friend for two years for about 3 weeks. And its been pretty good, kind of awkward at first but we saw each other this week (she lives two and a half hours away so we don't see each other much) and it got pretty heated, we made out a lot and i've never really done that before.
So the other day we were messaging and idk if it counted as 'sexting' like it started off fairly innocent but it got really explicit, like we were talking about sexual things and different thoughts we'd had about eachother, and then we ended up basically telling each other thqt we'd masturbated to the idea of the other one before.
I'm seeing her on friday, and her parents are away and i honestly think something might happen.

So firstly, I'm a virgin. i've never had sex with another girl before, and shes the first girlfriend i've had where i've really been interests in the physical side of things because i'm a incredibly anxious person and the only girlfriends ive had have really just been close friends who i've kissed once or twice.
I'm so self conscious about the possibility of doing something, like i know i want to but at the same time i'm plus sized and she isn't. i'm just afraid that shes going to be disgusted by the fact i'm overweight, like i know obviously shes going to know I'm overweight seeing as shes seen me before in clothes and i'm really comfortable around her like i've been in pyjamas without wring a bra before in front of her and not felt really anxious. But its different seeing someone without clothes on and with clothes on, I have achne scars on my breasts and self harm scars on my legs and stomach and stretch marks as well and i'm just anxious about her seeing them because shes so attractive.
And i know she doen't mind im plus sized, she Always says im beautiful and has even said i'm hot and stuff and shes reblogged pictures of people who are plus sized on tumblr in bathing suits and stuff so i think she'll be fine. But Imm reqlly worried because shes a girl that she might compare my body to hers, or that she'll think my vaginas odd or something, idk its just all just little tings. Is the fact im worrying about this a sine that i'm not ready? Or does everyone feel like this before their first time?
On top of this my period started on sunday and i really need it to be over by the time i see her on saturday, like I NEED it to be over. I'm trying using hot water bottles and drinking lots of fluids to try and make it end sooner but idk if its going to work. Des anyone have any tips to speed up my period? And if its not finished by friday, how do I subtly stop anything from happenng without making her a) grossed out or b) think i'm making exscuses and just don't want to sleep with her.
Sorry, this might be a bit tmi but i dont know where else to go and you've been soooo much help so far?? X

[Mo]

That's great that your new relationship is going well so far. It sounds like your girlfriend is pretty clear about her attraction to you, and to other folks with larger/plus-sized bodies. I know it can be really tough to internalize the reality of that, especially since body-negative, fatphobic messages are pretty much everywhere, but I think part of being in an intimate relationship is trusting in their good opinion of you even when you might have a hard time believing it. Many people have things about their bodies that they're insecure about, but I think that, for the most part, when someone is having sex or otherwise being intimate with a partner, they're not focusing on those things at all, they're focusing on the fun and sexy things that are going on.

Keep in mind, too, that being sexual with someone doesn't mean you're suddenly going from the state of No Sexual Contact to the state of Every Possible Sexual Act. You don't have to take off more clothes than you're comfortable with, or have kinds of sex you feel a little uncertain about, right away.

It sounds like it would be helpful for both of you to talk about what you might be comfortable with, or what specific boundaries you may want to set, before you see each other Friday - or to specifically set aside some time that visit for this conversation, before anything happens. It's really the best way to make sure you're both on the same page and only doing things you're both comfortable with.

In terms of your period, really all you can do is wait and see what happens; there's not a reliable way to shorten a period. And I think that being direct is the best plan here; if you're not comfortable with certain kinds of sex when you're menstruating, you can just say "hey, I'm on my period so I'd rather we not do this" when it comes up. I think that since your partner (presumably) menstruates as well it's not likely to make her feel grossed out or worry that you're making excuses.