how to use Birth Control?

[sadiesluvsyu]

2015 3:41 pm

Hi, my "distant" boyfriend and I are both virgins and want to have sex over the summer. I've been meaning to get birth control pills, but my mother disapproves (I guess it's because of her religious views since the everyone in the family is a Christian, and there's the whole age gap thing). Not to mention the fact that she's totally ok with the idea. But, even my "God-father"/uncle told me that he had to buy pills for his daughter, when she became sexually active. For example, the last time we got intimate we were extremely tempted, but unfortunately, his condoms were expired since we waited so long. I mean we can "hold back", ofcourse, but we'd rather be safe than sorry. It would be great to use birth control pills because I can easily put in my allergy medicine tube in my room (cause I am allergic to basically everything). There's probably a high chance I'm allergic to latex anyway! Plus, I heard birth control isn't too hard to get since you just talk to your doctor. But, I just moved to California so I don't really have one here... In my case, IT'S A STRUGGLE! I asked my friend ,who's not a virgin, and she said she could get some for me. But, as she was explaining how and when to take the pills, I was completely lost in the conversation. Is there a simplier way of explaining it step by step? And the whole period thing? When should I start so I'll be ready?

*By the way tere's no specific planned out-date yet, but since I will be in town* for a while between 27th of July and the 6th of August it will be possible, depending on plans.*

Thanks!
-I was told to put this on a "different thread"? Sorry, not sure how to do that. I hope I did it this right...

[Heather]

All good!

So, if we are talking about the birth control pill, anyone using that has to have their own prescription: people cannot buy other people that pill, unless by buy you just mean pay for. Like any prescription medication, it's neither safe nor legal to use a medication not prescribed for and to you.

In California, there is a state program that pays for any birth control methods called FamilyPACT. You can apply for it at any clinic, hospital or doctors office. If you need help finding a clinic, we can help you with that. And then, a healthcare provider will explain how to use the method you choose.

Just so you know, people allergic to latex can still use condoms, and backing up any method with confirm is always the best bet for everyone's health. You'll just need to use nonlatex condoms, that's all. And unless someone has had a condom for years, literally, no worries about them expiring soon. New condoms have about three years before their expiration dates.

[sadiesluvsyu]

Oh really! Wow! Thank you! This was really helpful, and I'll make sure Mackenzie does not get them for me since it's illegal ! I would absolutely love to sign up for the state program, but there's just one catch. I'm not sure how I would be able to keep those details from my mother because of the religious beliefs. I definitely do not want to start conflict with his family and mine. However, at the same time this will be the most helpful. Would I still be able to sign up without revealing this information to my mother?

[Eddie C]

That's something that you can always ask them with just a phone call. Do you need any help finding a place or clinic? Or you can always drop by at any Planned Parenthood or hospital you have nearby.

[sadiesluvsyu]

Actually, I just found one, and I can ask a friend to drive me. Again, thank you so much for your help! You guys are the best!

[Heather]

I would suggest, by the way, you take the ticking timer off of this, big time.

It sounds like you have some potential minefields here that could really blow up in your face: disapproving parents, so probably also dishonesty and sneaking around on your part, for one. You say there is an age gap: given the age of consent in California is 18, if your boyfriend is over that age, then we can be talking about him committing statutory rape, not to mention some tricky issues between you that can be in play.

It also is just sounding to me like you may be rushing to get ready for all this rather than taking the time to figure everything out and really get all your ducks in a row, as it were, making sure this is a sound situation for you. Your home stuff alone makes it sound like it may not be.

[sadiesluvsyu]

Oh I understand. I probably should've worded that differently... my mistake! My mother is ok with me having a boyfriend. When I said "age gap" I meant that she prefers me to do this* at an older age (if anything "wait until marriage) because of her beliefs -like she did. Yes, I have one of those mothers that want their daughter to "be like them and stay in church". Sorry, if I made that confusing. But, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2yrs, and on August 7th it will be 3! So we waited for a while, and we both agree that we could take the opportunity.

[Heather]

Gotcha.

Have you yet had a peek at our sex readiness checklist? If not, it's here if you'd like: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist. Suffice it to say, anything there is also going to apply to your boyfriend, not just to you.

It's important, I'd say, to bear in mind that simply waiting for something, and then having an opportunity, doesn't always make it our best choice, especially with something as loaded and risky as sex, and especially when you're on the younger end of the age range when people tend to start being sexual with partners with high-risk activities like intercourse. For instance, having some time to learn to use condoms and any other method of birth control you use will likely make a sexual experience more comfortable and less nerve-wracking. Doing what you can to not be sneaking around, or living in a situation where you're at risk of giant family conflict if (and most often, when) sexual activity is discovered is another big piece. Probably, you want all of this to be great and go well, not just be a thing you do because you've waited and now may have an opportunity, you know?

[sadiesluvsyu]

Hi Miss/Mrs. Heather! I've been busy with SAT prep and Chemistry so I apologize I messaged you so late. If you are able to read it, I made a discussion about my experience with the family pact and stuff. Thank you for telling me about the clinic and the helpful information!

[Heather]

I just saw that, and am so glad that worked out so well for you! YAY!