Intercourse not happening

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rosegarden
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Intercourse not happening

Unread post by rosegarden »

Me and my boyfriend have been trying to have sex. But we are not able to do the final act. I start feeling a large amount of pain whenever he tries to go in. But when he inserts two fingers in, i feel no pain. We both are virgins so its the first time for us. What could be the reason and solution for this?
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Amanda
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Re: Intercourse not happening

Unread post by Amanda »

Hi rosegarden,

Here's an article that will likely address your concerns: First Intercourse 101

The short answer is: make sure you are fully aroused and lubricated (using lube is always a good idea! Even lubricated condoms often do not have enough lube on them), and go slowly. Make sure you both feel totally comfortable with everything that's happening, and check in with each other often.
"We must not see any person as an abstraction. Instead, we must see in every person a universe with its own secrets, with its own treasures, with its own sources of anguish, and with some measure of triumph." -Elie Wiesel
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Heather
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Re: Intercourse not happening

Unread post by Heather »

Can I also ask a few questions to see if we can help you refine this troubleshooting?

1) When you are trying intercourse, what's happened before? Lots of other kinds of sexual activity you really enjoy? Are you only trying when, basically, you feel like you're so turned on you can't wait another freaking minute?

2) Before you're trying, are you worrying about pain or this "not working?" Or is that all out of your mind, and you're just all caught up in the moment and feeling good?

3) You say when he inserts fingers you feel no pain, but does that feel good, not just not-painful?

4) Are you two experimenting with positions, angles, more lubricant, etc? As you're trying things, are you telling him what feels better or worse?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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