Trouble inserting tampons

[rainbowskys]

I'm 18 & female, and a couple of days ago I figured I may as well try using tampons for the first time. I wasn't particularly nervous as I (thought) I was well antiquated with my genitals, and the instruction leaflet suggested that the tampon would just slip right into my vagina. However, this was not the case, and to my chagrin I realised that I could barely even find my vaginal opening, and when I did I was met with only resistance. I didn't want to hurt myself so I decided to just leave it.

In the next few days I decided to do a bit of research. I happened upon a few forum posts with women talking about their experiences with masturbation as teenagers - and a trend seemed to be using household objects to penetrate themselves. However what surprised me the most was, (to my perception,) just how large the objects these women were using. Comparatively, when I was about 16/17 I once tried inserting one finger while I was masturbating, but it just felt incredibly uncomfortable and was quite difficult. Although I knew that being biologically abnormal is extremely unlikely, I couldn't help but question whether I had an unusually small/tight vagina. Looking at images of vulvae (including the diagrams on this site,) I saw that the vaginal opening is always explicitly depicted as a hole. However, when I got out the mirror for some self evaluation what I found was more of a slit blocked off by flesh.

I'm not currently interested in PiV sex, but this whole experience has had me questioning my vagina's capabilities, (so to speak,) and left me pretty confused about my body. I had always assumed that my vagina was just tight because of my being a virgin/having an un-stretched hymen, but the fact that I cannot insert even a small tampon makes me a little worried, as well as realise that I don't know as much about my genitals as I thought. Asking "is there any way to widen my vagina" sounds a bit silly, but I guess I'd like to ask how can I make myself more comfortable to inserting tampons & etc? A lot of the advice I've read online boils down to "relax and take your time" but the problem I'm encountering seems to be more of a physical than mental block.

Sorry for the length!

[Heather]

Before anything else, has using a lubricant and doing so ething to relax your body first - like deep breathing or a hot bath, for example - made any difference with this, be it tampon use or masturbation?

If we are talking about an issue with the hymen, that tissue is normally super-stretchy, so just being chill and using lube alone should generally account for hymenal tissue when it is in the way.

Just for the record, too, when nothing is inside the vaginal opening, it is common for it to look more like a slit or small opening than a wide open hole, whether somone has most of their hymen or whether it has mostly worn away. Anatomical illustration with this has to generally show something that makes clear that opening is the start of the vaginal canal, so folks get it, but that approach, indeed, is not very reflective of what you will often see in a mirror or others bodies in person when nothing is inside that canal. So, this may or may not even have anything to do with the hymen!

[rainbowskys]

Thankyou for your reply. What would you recommend as a lubricant? I currently live with my (quite sheltered) parents and a shared bathroom, so unfortunately buying actual lubricant would be difficult - are there any alternative lotions that would not be damaging? I live in the UK if that helps.

Do you think lubricant will always be necessary for me, or will over time it become easier?

I'm definitely going to try relaxing a little more next time though - I think because I didn't expect any difficulties I may not have taken enough time to do so.

[Sam W]

Hi Rainbowskys,

Since you would be using the just for inserting a tampon, you might look into oil based lubricants (like coconut oil) as they usually look more like "normal" house hold items. However, be aware that using oil based lubes can potentially trap bacteria in the vagina.

It's hard to say if you'll always need lube to help with your tampon insertion. I think you plan to try and relax more is a sound. If you haven't already, I might also try inserting the tampon from different positions, to see if one position feels easier to you.

[rainbowskys]

Ok, thankyou very much for all of your help.