Problems/strangeness with masturbating (cis male 16)

[Ambrosion]

So I'm really bad at talking so I'm going to end up sort of rambling whilst trying to end up explaining what's going on (also this is going to be written over a few hours so it'll be a bit disjointed).
Basically all my life I've been told that when males masturbate their penis gets really hard and orgasm it's supposed to feel *amazing* (like a champaign bottle cork popping off) and then the penis goes flaccid after ejecting semen and the male gets sleepy/tired and can't orgasm or get sexually aroused for a while during their "refractory period" ....... None of that happens for me.
My penis is often only about half hard during masturbating regardless of matrial being watch/veiwed/imagining and when I orgasm it really doesn't feel that amazing sort of "okay or slightly better than okay" and it can even be very faintly painful as I finish ejaculating, I don't go flaccid after ejaculated sometimes I'm harder than I was during masturbating (I don't know if this is because I'm bisexual so I might find semen attractive or something?) and it stays like that for quite a while (I haven't tried carrying on masturbating after it because I'm not really equipped for a second set of semen coming out and it just seems like too much effort and arms tiredness for a "meh" feeling), something that helps is peeing (in a toilet) and that can take around a minute or 2 (ish) to go soft again and can take a LOT longer without doing that. I also don't get tired afterwards. At all. I have found it doesn't help with sleep at all and don't feel tired or anything like that. I have only masturbated around a dozen times just so you know, if there's anything else you need to know that's important in figuring out what's different or what's going on then just ask I should be fine with it.

I know this may not be your usual thing so if you aren't well enough versed in biology or don't want to answer could you please at least try to direct me to a site that could help me understand what's going on. Also IMPORTANT: please don't take this as a "what's wrong with me" situation I'm not asking for some self confidence boost or something like that I'm just wondering why every piece of sex education I've heard (from school, the internet, doctors in genitalia biology) seems to be the opposite of what I'm experiencing.

[Sam W]

Hi Ambrosion,

So, the simple answer is that, while bodies and response have typical patterns that we can talk about, not everyone's body behaves the same way. Bodies aren't machines, and they won't always do what we might be expecting. Too, especially when it comes to things like how an orgasm feels, that's going to really vary from person to person (or even from orgasm to orgasm), which is why your may not feel how you were lead to expect they might. And, you're still fairly new to masturbating, so you're still learning how your body responds, and those responses may in fact change over time, or you may start to discover more variability.

In terms of who else to talk to, your healthcare provider would be a good place to start, as they can actually see your body.

[Ambrosion]

Well thank you for informing me about orgasms and things like that but I was also concerned about the other parts which whilst I can accept that everyone is different from one another I find it quite strange experiencing things that directly contradict things which have been set as hard and fast rules
"I don't go flaccid after ejaculated sometimes I'm harder than I was during masturbating (I don't know if this is because I'm bisexual so I might find semen attractive or something?) and it stays like that for quite a while (I haven't tried carrying on masturbating after it because I'm not really equipped for a second set of semen coming out and it just seems like too much effort and arms tiredness for a "meh" feeling), something that helps is peeing (in a toilet) and that can take around a minute or 2 (ish) to go soft again and can take a LOT longer without doing that. I also don't get tired afterwards. At all. I have found it doesn't help with sleep at all and don't feel tired or anything like that." and these things have been consistent and unchanging
I also don't actually currently have a healthcare provider (I live in Britain btw in case things are different in America) so I was wondering how exactly I might go about finding one right for my situation (as I don't really want to end up asking a specialist in lung operations about my genitalia by accident)
Again thank you for your support I don't mean to be rude by asking for more help I just felt that some of my questions weren't quite answered.

[Sam W]

The thing is, while there are patterns and things that are typical when it comes to sex, that doesn't guarantee that your body will do exactly what is typical. Truly, there are very few hard and fast rules when it comes to sex, just things that are more or less common (although, taking 2 minutes to go flaccid is not that unusual, and some people do find that urinating helps get rid of an erection).

If you don't mind my asking, how do you know you've orgasmed? Are you going off of ejaculation?

In terms of finding a doctor to talk to, you could look into free or low cost sexual healthcare clinics, or just clinics in general. A GP should be able to talk to you about what's going on

[Ambrosion]

I am using me ejaculating as a measure of whether I've orgasmed though I have noticed a slight tightness and increase in please whilst doing so but nowhere near the levels people usually describe with orgasms.

I'll see if there are any sexual healthcare clinics in my area but I'm currently slightly busy at the moment so that may have to wait for a week or two unfortunately. (again thank you for the help even though I may not be the easiest to talk to)

[Redskies]

The notion that orgasm, by definition, feels amazing: it's a myth. There's a big range of how orgasms can feel, and at one end of that range is very definitely "like not very much at all". So, you might be having orgasms that just don't feel like that big a deal, and there's nothing odd or unusual about that. It sounds like you're still pretty new to your sexual self, and it's common to have things feel like less of a big deal before we've had a chance to really get to know our own body, how it responds, and what we really like and don't.

Some of the information you've had before definitely sounds more like urban myth than actual, real sex education. So, how about we hook you up with much better information that won't leave you feeling quite so baffled? For starters, I'll suggest these:
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

Ejaculation and orgasm aren't the same thing. For most people - especially people with penises - they happen at the same time or almost the same time, but not for everyone, and not always. So, as Sam was getting at above, if you're assuming that you orgasmed because you ejaculated: well, maybe not.

Being bisexual wouldn't make a difference to how you feel about semen. There can be some odd ideas about how people's orientation affects how they respond to other things, but orientation is truly only about which people we're attracted to. Whether someone feels aroused by their own or someone else's semen or other body fluids is just a thing in its own right, unconnected: if you feel aroused by semen, you do, and if you don't, you don't.

If you want to get a check-up and be able to talk to someone in person about your body, the first people I'd suggest are Brook: http://www.brook.org.uk If there's one anywhere near you that you can get to at all, I'd suggest them over anything else, because they're specifically for young people's sexual health, so their service will be best tailored for what you need. Otherwise, the right people would be a sexual health clinic, which you can find by searching on the NHS England website; or, you can search for sexual health clinic 'town name'. Many towns and cities have specific clinic sessions for young people, which you find out in the individual clinic information. You can speak to a GP too, but someone who specialises in sexual health is likely to be able to give you fuller answers if what you're wanting is also partly educational. Nothing you're describing suggests any need for urgency, so visiting a clinic whenever it suits you and you have time will be absolutely fine.

Per general healthcare access: you should be registered with a GP, otherwise you're likely to have delays in getting non-emergency care, and no-one needs that kind of hassle when they're already ill. If you live with a parent/guardian, they likely registered you whenever you moved to where you are or back when you were born, so you can ask them and then make a note of your doctor's name and address so you have it when you need it; if you don't or you recently moved, you can find out how to register on the NHS site: it's usually not at all difficult or time-consuming