Should I go to the doctor and what should I expect?

[nokatprotested]

I was told by a member of the volunteer team here at Scarleteen that I should go see a doctor because I've been having abnormal periods. My cycles have been changing monthly (37 day cycle, then 33 days, then 31, and now I've missed this month's period).

After doing some research, I think there's a good chance I have PCOS because:
-I have irregular periods
-I have hair growth around my belly button, nipples, and on my toes
-I have dark patches of skin on my inner thighs, arm pits, and a ring around my neck
-I've been obese and can hardly lose weight since I was young
-my aunt and mom both had an extremely hard time getting pregnant, although they were never diagnosed with anything because they never went to the doctor.
-acne/oily skin so badly I have to use special makeup removers with 0 oils
-oily hair but dry scalp
-anxiety
-family history of high blood pressure and diabetes

I know I cannot diagnose myself, but I thought all of these things were normal until I read that this entire list of things are symptoms of PCOS, which is already a quite common disease.

I have read that the doctor will ask me questions about my medical/sexual history, do blood tests, and perform a pelvic/abdominal exam plus an ultrasound using a pen shaped probe INSIDE my vagina. I've also read, though, that since I'm a virgin that most doctors don't do anything inside the vagina. Most don't even ask you to remove your pants. Is this true?

Please explain to me what the facts are that I can expect from a doctors appointment to see why I have irregular periods, specifically PCOS.

[Heather]

If you're talking about what I last said to you, just to be clear, I said that should you miss two or more periods completely, that would be when to go to the doctor regarding you asking about what to do next since your period has not arrived when you expected it. I also commented that it wouldn't be sound to presume much about your cycles without having charts of them for more than just the last three period dates.

However, if you have health concerns, seeing a healthcare provider is always the best step. And if you have concerns about a potential condition like PCOS, that's also the right step.

What you can likely expect at a first visit with an OB/GYN is just a) them taking a health history, including information about your periods, b) them asking about your concerns and needs per why you're there, and c) a basic GYN exam, probably just a bimanual exam (sexual history or no, if you're asking about period/uterine concerns, they will generally need to do the exam that gives them a way to figure out if anything is up with your uterus or ovaries), unless you have been sexually active or are over 21. They will not likely do an ultrasound, transvaginal or otherwise, at a first visit, because they need to determine if you need one based on their assessment, not yours.

[nokatprotested]

I was told by someone else via the Scarleteen texting that I shouldn't wait. Now I'm not sure what to do since you've told me this and the other girl said otherwise...

[Heather]

I can check in on that history, but while we're a team, I'm executive director here, so I do most of the training in and have the most experience and education.

So, when in doubt, default to me. But again, if you have access to healthcare, and want to go, there's no reason not to. It's not like if you don't have cause for concern, a doctor can't tell you so.

[Heather]

I just reviewed that conversation, and I'm sorry, that volunteer was in error: it's not only 28 day cycles that are normal or regular. That's just a mean average -- and one that still would have a standard deviation -- which means a lot of people have shorter cycles than that, and a lot of people longer.

Just FYI, though, when users use more than one of our services, it's important to tell anyone working with you that you have and your handle so they can review your history and the conversations you have already had with us on another service. If you don't tell someone that, it's a lot easier for people to wind up making mistakes, and it also often results in us using our time to just repeat ourselves, which we like to avoid. Thanks.

[nokatprotested]

Oh okay thank you. So I should wait to see a doctor until I've missed 1 more period? So like...around the end of September, right?

[nokatprotested]

I'd also like to apologize for causing a confusion. I thought the texting and online methods would be connected. Sometimes I just don't have Internet access, I'll be sure to use my handle next time I have to use the texting service

[Heather]

Here's the scoop:

If you WANT to see a reproductive healthcare provider simply because you have concerns, you can do that any time. Preventative reproductive and sexual healthcare is something people need to start at some point, like going to the dentist, so it's fine to start now when you have questions and concerns.

But if you don't want to go, then as far as the question you had already asked me yesterday, which I answered for you, about you not having a period, then that's what you hold off on until or unless you *miss* more than two periods. Even skipping periods now and then is common, so a late or missed period isn't a cause for concern (when you know, as we do, that pregnancy isn't a possibility) all by itself, so no need to rush in when that is someone's only concern.

No worries, now you know! The text service doesn't allow for picking a handle, it just assigns users a random number. That's why we can't know a board user is also a text user unless they tell us they use both services. Once you tell us, we can make a note in our logs about your text account number so we know who you are on both services ever after.

[nokatprotested]

Okay so I've thought over all the information I've been given from this website and I think I'm finally done letting this anxiety rule my life. I don't want to wait another month just hoping my period will come eventually. I'm sick of constantly sitting behind a computer screen trying to find out what's wrong with me. I want to go see a doctor so I can know for a fact what's going on with my body. How can I start the conversation with my mom to get her to take me to see a doctor? Should I just say "hey mom, I don't really know what's going on with me but my periods have been screwed up. Like they don't come at a certain time each month, and this month I just missed it all together for no reason." What do you think? Should I even mention that I've looked up PCOS? I'm so nervous. I've never talked about my period before.

[Heather]

So, sounds like ideally, what you want to seek out is a) mental healthcare for your anxiety, and b) basic reproductive healthcare, period, but also to determine if you have a reproductive health issue that needs to be diagnosed and addressed. You could even start by just seeing your general physician about both, and then they can make referrals to other providers as needed.

How do you typically ask your parent to take you to healthcare when you need it? However you have done that, the same goes here. You have concerns and possible issues, you'd like to see a healthcare provider.

You know, you've talked to us about your periods plenty, and a healthcare provider will talk with you about them in almost exactly the same ways. So, nothing new there -- and truly, voicing concern about periods is no different than about say, a cold or a stomach issue, parts are parts to doctors, none more special or off-limits than another -- just a new person to do it with, that's all.

Just FYI, it's not sound for you to classify right now as you having missed a period. A missed period is when you don't get a period for one full cycle. In other words, if you had 30 day cycles, that'd mean you got one, then 60 days later, you still hadn't had one. As we already talked about, it sounds like as of now your period is later than expected, and maybe late, but it has not yet been missed.

You can mention you looked up any health condition, but what you have looked up online isn't likely to influence a healthcare provider, and it won't need to: they do their job better than you (or anyone) can do doing Google searches. If they examine you and take your health history, and something like PCOS seems possible to them, they'll get there with their education, training, and what your exam and health history tells them.

[nokatprotested]

Okay I know I should/could wait, but I have to go to my doctor tomorrow or Wednesday to get shots for school, is this something I should just bring up while I'm there? Like "hey btw, my periods have been irregular, what's up with that?" And then maybe he'll ask me questions and I could have this all worked out. Or should I really wait until I've totally missed my period? I mean, missed period or not, my periods are still irregular, right? They've always seemed to get a week later each month (which I finally found out meant I just had a 37ish day cycle which is pretty long) before I started charting.

[Heather]

You absolutely can do that: general physicians generally are perfectly capable of addressing basic period concerns, and if your doctor suspects you need a different kind of care than that, or more specialized care, they can give you a referral.

Last time on this one: I can't say that your periods are irregular based on just three period dates you gave me and this one being later than the last. I'd have to see dates over six months to a year to really give you the scoop on that. But again, you can talk with your doctor about this and ask about it. If you're already there, that's the time to ask health questions.

[nokatprotested]

If I tell the doctor my period is concerning me, will he make me take a pregnancy test? If I take one and it comes out negative I know I will feel a lot better. But there's no way I'm going to ask for one because that would make my mom suspicious.

[Redskies]

We can't really predict which tests a doctor will want to do because we're not doctors If you feel like you won't be able to tell the doctor everything that you want to tell them, I'd put in a strong vote for trying to speak with the doctor without your mom in the room. If that's a thing you want to do, you can ask the doctor and/or receptionist for help with that: you can say that you'd like to talk with the doctor in private because you'd like to talk about your periods, and you feel too awkward doing that in front of your mom, and have the doctor ask your mom to wait outside.

I'd encourage you to bring up the anxiety you've been having with the doctor, too. Anxiety's a tough thing to live with, and getting some proper support for it is the thing most likely to help you feel better.

[taylor_alyse]

Redskies has some great advice. I've had doctors who've done it without me asking actually so that they get honest and comfortable conversations--so it's a very normal request & often a common practice Asking that doctor does this is a good idea, however, just to make sure.