Case of the Missing Orgasm

[acv1234]

Hello!
I am a female and have been sexually active for 3 years now. I'm 21 years old. I have never been able to have an orgasm and it's extremely frustrating and upsetting. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and last spring it was so bad that I had to go home for a few months to get therapy and more meds. I am finally back to my normal self and thought maybe my out of control GAD was the reason I couldn't finish. I still can't orgasm, even by myself using a vibrator. I've even used a vibrator for 20 minutes and eventually just hit a wall where I'm not aroused anymore.

Basically this has been an issue for me for the past three years and I'm beginning to think maybe something is wrong with my nerves or something.

Is this a valid thing to talk to my doctor about? It just seems silly.

Thanks

[Eddie C]

Hello there, acv1234.

This is not my strongest subject but I really wanted to let you know that someone saw your post and as soon as someone with more experience is around they will give you a better answer.

One thing that I do want to say is that, this is not a silly question and it is absolutely okay if you ask it to your doctor, especially is this doctor is your therapist. Anxiety can be a very hard thing to deal with so it's okay to ask for help every once in a while.

[Carmen]

I also agree that seems like a totally valid concern to bring up
Here is a link that may help!
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/no_pleasure

[Mo]

Hi acv1234,

I have a few thoughts! First off, the link Carmen posted is a great place to start, but I want to highlight one of the articles that's mentioned there: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide Are you feeling pleasure at all during masturbation? I'm wondering whether this is a situation where nothing you try is feeling good, or whether it feels nice but you're not reaching orgasm. Many people do have to take some time to experiment with different ways of masturbation before they find what feels best. For example, while many people do find that vibrators work great, others don't like how they feel or don't find that they provide the "right" kind of sensation during masturbation. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you if a particular vibrator, or vibrators in general, don't do it for you.

When you're masturbating, it might help to approach it as an event that's focused on overall enjoyment, instead of making it All About Orgasm. Your mental state has a huge impact on sexual response and orgasm and if you find yourself tense, or frustrated, or thinking "come on body, HURRY UP and have an orgasm," it's going to be less likely to happen. Maybe you can try and reframe masturbation as something that's based on pleasure and experimentation, with the overall goal being Feeling Good? I think this article will also be helpful to read through: How Do You Masturbate?

If you're comfortable this absolutely is something you could bring up with your doctor, especially since you're mentioning anxiety medication; there are some types of medication used to treat anxiety and/or depression that can have an impact on sexual response. I think it's unlikely you're experiencing nerve issues unless you're noticing numbness, tingling, or a general lack of sensation at all, but the medication angle could be worth looking up (and certainly if you are noticing numbness, that's something to mention for sure!).