It feels like it's happening all over again

[Heather]

Given her history, it doesn't sound like it will be awkward for her at all. I get that you feel scared and it feels like it must be awkward because you're feeling that way, but you know, for those of us who have worked in things like advocacy and clinical care, it really can be as normal as a friend asking if we'll drive them to the grocery store or go with them to some kind of event where they want company or emotional support.

How about writing your question down on a piece of paper so that if you can't get the words out, you can just hand that over? Again, anyone who has done the kind of work it sounds like she has absolutely will get that it IT hard to ask for help after abuse or assault, and sometimes that means people are going to ask in ways that might otherwise seem odd, but don't in these circumstances.

[Catsmeow]

I guess I'm just nervous, the only thing I can think is "what if she says no?" It'll just be so strange and I won't know what to do. I haven't even asked yet and I don't know what I'm doing, it's going to be worse if she says no.

[Heather]

Well, perhaps if this is someone where it feels THAT loaded if they don't say yes, maybe they're not the right person to ask after all?

That's what I'd think about tonight or tomorrow morning in making that choice: if her saying anything but yes just doesn't feel like something you feel you'll be able to deal with (because, of course, she could say no for any number of reasons, including plain old practical scheduling conflicts), then by all means, I'd reconsider and think about exploring other options, like contacting a rape advocate, another options I suggested.

But if you feel able to deal with a possible no and do still want to ask her, I'd go ahead and just take that leap. You certainly can always pop back here for more support is need be should you not get an answer you want from her.

[Catsmeow]

I just asked her about an hour ago and she said she would be more than willing to go with me! It was hard to ask but I'm glad I did, thank you so much for your help and encouragement!!

[Eddie C]

Hello there, catsmeow.

I just wanted to let you know that someone saw your post and that I'm really glad to hear you got the support you need and deserve. And you are right, it is hard to ask for help and you are really brave to do it.

[Heather]

Yay! That's wonderful news, both because I'm glad you get the supportive person you wanted to go with you, and because you took a positive risk for your own well-being that went so well.