Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Volleygirl22
not a newbie
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 8:52 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: Can spike a volleyball, but am only 4'9"
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Les
Location: Illinois

Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Unread post by Volleygirl22 »

My boyfriend and I have had sex quite a few times since we've been together, including twice before making our relationship official. I haven't really had too much of a problem with my nerves getting in the way of anything, except for maybe once or twice before. But today, we were getting really close. I started taking his clothes off, and he did the same to me. But out of nowhere, I just got really nervous and asked him if we could stop. He did right away. I love him, and I love being close with him like this, so I don't really know what set me off. I've always been a little uncomfortable with my body, but I don't usually let that get in the way. Could that possibly have been a part of it? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you move past it? My boyfriend told me we won't do anything again until I'm comfortable. I just don't really know what set me off
Eddie C
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 747
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 4:48 pm
Age: 43
Awesomeness Quotient: I create. :)
Primary language: Spanish and English
Pronouns: She, her, they, hey you!
Sexual identity: Happy :)
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Unread post by Eddie C »

Hello there, Volleygirl.

You are not alone here. People and their reactions are sometimes hard to explain. Not only around sex but with everything. Have you ever craved something to eat and once you have it in front you feel like "nahhhh", this is not what I want? Well, it could work the same way. Sometimes our bodies, and our minds do not know how to explain our wants and that's when our instincts come out to do the job. But it is okay and it doesn't mean it will always happen. :)
chickengrits
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2015 7:13 am
Age: 34
Awesomeness Quotient: Wigs!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: VA

Re: Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Unread post by chickengrits »

Yes! This happens to me all the time! I get really nervous and anxious and jittery. Sometimes I'll be in the mood and halfway through, I'll be all, "EHHHHH...not really." Our bodies and minds sometimes aren't totally in sync, and it happens! I think it's totally normal!

It helps that my boyfriend is really patient with me (I'm still technically a virgin), and we have good communication and can talk about a lot of stuff openly (though not everything...we'll get there!). It sounds like your bf understands and is willing to wait it through. It happens sometimes!
amberheart
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:48 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: Unfailingly optimistic
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They/them but ok with she/her
Sexual identity: bi
Location: uk

Re: Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Unread post by amberheart »

This happened to me the other day. I've been sexually active for 4 years and in this particular session I was really enjoying myself, then suddenly I got all shaky and nervous and just wanted to cuddle instead. I guess sometimes our brains just like to throw us a curveball!
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Has anyone else ever gotten really nervous about sex, basically out of nowhere?

Unread post by Mo »

I have had this happen before, for sure. It can happen because the partner or situation is not a good fit for me, but often I find that it's because I'm not particularly in the mood for sex at the time but trying to ignore that feeling for some reason. If I try to push past that feeling or don't want to to tell my partner, then that feeling of not being into it can very easily turn into nervousness, anxiety, or other upset feelings.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post