Having trouble with orgasms

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Kittylene
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Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Kittylene »

Hello, I'm 23 year old and have been sexually active for a while. I have had sexual intercouse several times but I can't never reach orgasm.
I do have them but it's only when it's not intercourse, and if I do have them is too fast where I just don't feel pleasure anymore or cant reach another orgasm and my partner is not done yet.
I don't know what to do, does this happens to other people too? Help! :(
Have courage, be kind :)
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Mo
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Re: Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Mo »

Hi there Selekitty,

Not only does this happen to other people, it's actually more common than not for women to not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. We have an article that goes into this in more detail here: The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

For a good overview of orgasm & sexual response, you may want to take a look here: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide Sometimes it takes some experimentation and communication to find the kinds of sex that feel best to you and that help you achieve orgasm the most easily and reliably; do you feel like you can talk to your partner about what's feeling best for you right now? If you masturbate at all and can reach orgasm that way, can you incorporate any of that into partnered sex (whether that's you doing things yourself or showing your partner what works for you)?
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Kittylene
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Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:56 pm
Age: 31
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Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: United States

Re: Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Kittylene »

Thank you so much for your response, this has always been bothering from the first time I had sex.
And yes I will talk to my partner about it, I was just worried that something might have been wrong with me.
Also is it possible to have more than one orgasm while having sex?
Have courage, be kind :)
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Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
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Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Mo »

There's definitely nothing wrong with you if orgasms aren't happening during intercourse. :) There are so many cultural messages that set up intercourse as "Real" sex or the "best" kind of sex when for many people, it's not their favorite kind at all, and ultimately I think this winds up being damaging because so many folks have similar worries to what you're describing.

In the second link I posted above, there is a mention of multiple orgasm, so as you read through it you'll notice that. But in short - yes, it is possible, but just like having one orgasm, it's not always going to happen for everyone and some folks find it easier to achieve than others.
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Kittylene
not a newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:56 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: Joyful
Primary language: English/Spanish
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: United States

Re: Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Kittylene »

Thank you! I love this website and yes I'm going to continue reading the articles you linked me :)
Have courage, be kind :)
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Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Having trouble with orgasms

Unread post by Mo »

Wonderful, I'm glad you found us!
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