Male masturbation help

[Kiar]

Hi,

I've always wanted the outlet of masturbation to deal with my partner being long-distance, but I've never been able to make it work for me. I'm circumcised, so when I pull the skin on the shaft of my penis up and down, it feels alright, but not even close to the deep, intercourse-like pleasure most people seem to talk about when they talk about masturbation.

And I've never been able to orgasm except during nocturnal emissions, not once in all my 22 years. It's getting ridiculous, I'm having wet dreams a few times a month and sometimes even a couple times a week.

Am I massively underestimating the time it takes to orgasm from masturbation? I do only really pull my penis skin up and down for a couple minutes at the most. I just feel so little pleasure from it compared to the actual orgasm of a nocturnal emission that I have no reason to try for any longer. It just seems like a very delicate, difficult process that takes an enormous amount of practice and time to see any results from, compared to female masturbation.

Should I try lube of some kind? I'm embarrassed to go to the store and buy proper lube, so is there any household items I could use? Does spit work as lube?

Maybe I have some odd hangup about it that prevents me from going all the way, but I doubt it. I haven't been a Christian since I was like 11.

I do have this weird feeling of fear when I try to actually masturbate continuously, but I haven't the slightest idea of what to do about it, because I discuss sex with my girlfriend very openly and consider myself pretty open-minded about it, so it's not so much that i have to be convinced that it's not dirty or sinful. It's very strange, but the feeling of apprehension is still there a great deal of the time when I try to masturbate.

I still feel that if the pleasure started to happen more quickly and more intensely early on, I would have a reason to continue and not have the apprehension. Hell, I touch my penis all the time, in almost any fashion you could think of, except for the traditional pulling of the skin up and down that most men use to masturbate. None of that touching has led to an orgasm though. Maybe there's an alternate way to masturbate that's easier?

Sorry for the long post, thanks for any help in advance.

[Sam W]

Hi Kiar,

It sounds like there are a few things going on. One is that you might have some expectations attached to what masturbation should feel like, and you're finding that your own experience doesn't align with that. Something that can help with that is to focus less on what you think you should be feeling and more on what you're actually feeling. Staying in the moment like that can help increase the pleasure you feel.

It also sounds like some experimenting with new sensations might help. Lube is definitely an option, although some people use lotion in a pinch. You could also look into something like a masturbation sleeve, which some people find super pleasurable. Or, you can also check out ways to DIY some toys here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... ve_edition