Please give us some ideas for getting frisky! We have lost all hope!

[59wcs]

Hello everybody, this is my situation. My girlfriend and I are from the same hometown but we are in a long distance relationship, we're separated by a sea and about 2 hours of plane time - her college is in our hometown while mine is in another state. We're both studying, I'm finishing my degree in about a year while she's just started. I'll have a 3 month break every year after finals, and that is when I will be back to my hometown. But while I am on holiday she is not. Our schedules are different. I meet her quite often after her lectures as and when we have the time, and everything is okay with is but the biggest problem we often face is our intimate time - there is not a suitable time and place to do anything.

Our places are separated by an hour's drive, although her college is less than 10 minutes from my house. We both have no car and no licence to drive, so we have to rely on our parents. Public transport is erratic, we have no trains here, and at best the buses come 2 hours late, at worst there won't be any bus at all. The hotels are very few in our area, and the places that do have hotels are usually near to one of our relative's or our parents workplace. Our area is small. Everyone knows almost everyone. And we are stuck with zero ideas on how to go about getting frisky. Our parents and friends are conservative people, further complicating things.

The most we could end up doing is some kissing, I suck her breasts, she gives me some head. And this was done in the library! (since no one goes to the library here) But I can't return her favour for oral sex, nor can we go any further than nipples, French kissing and a rare blowjob. Obviously none of us can venture further to full on intercourse or the librarian might catch us. We've tried phone sex but it's just not enough for us, and even the phone sex is done with whispers and our heads under the pillow because our houses have thin walls!

We'd really like some advice on how to go about doing some lovemaking. Both of us are ready and we are torturing ourselves with endless foreplay and innuendo (which is kinda fun too but we really want to go further) We hope that someone may have a brilliant idea as we are lost and our brains are squeezed dry just thinking about this. 3 months of being together physically will be over soon and then it'll be 9 months before we meet again!

[Sam W]

Hi 59wcs,

This is one of those situations where there may not be a perfect solution, so you'll have to go with what's workable. It may be that you have to risk getting a hotel, or start working towards getting a license to drive (even if that's more of a long term solution than an immediate one). But ultimately, you'll have to decide what risks or steps you're willing to take and which ones you simply can't take. You can read more about that here: Sorting Maybe from Can't-Be: Reality Checking Partnered Sex Wants & Ideals

I'm also going to advise you to stop fooling around in the library. If you're nervous about being seen being intimate a public place, even if it's one that's not super busy, is not a good idea.

The other thing I'd encourage you two to do us find ways to keep the intimacy between you going. There are plenty of ways to do that that aren't sexual, but do bring you closer. You can read more about that here: Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots