First time.

[sebi02]

I am with my girlfriend for three months already and she is a virgin. One time, we were in bed and things started going a little sexual. I mean we both got naked and then I pleasured her until orgasm played with her and all. After at least 30 minutes she said she wanted to do it and since I had already been with other girls who were also virgins I thought I had a good handle on things but just as I was going in she said that it hurt. I tried to tell her that it is normal and then it would feel good and she said ok so I tried to continue but just as I tried to penetrate again she pushed me off saying that it hurt too much. After a while we tried again and the results were the same. Then another night after the foreplay I tried going in with my finger and she said that it hurt but it was manageable and when we tried having sex she pushed me again as I started penetrating saying again that it hurt too much. We really want to do it and after she pushes me away I find it quite hard to keep a hard on. We really don't know what else to do and it's bugging me because I fell that I am hurting her too much. Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong ?

[Sam W]

Hi sebio2,

So, sex is not actually supposed to hurt, even the first time someone does it (and if it starts out painful there's no guarantee it will get more pleasant as time passes. In fact, it will likely keep hurting). If it is painful, that means something is up. The most common causes of painful penetration are a lack of lubrication (even if someone is aroused they may still need the help of store bought lube) or feeling tense/anxious. You can read more about that here: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse