I think I am aromantic

[Cannonpie]

I think I might be aromantic. I am going into 10th grade and I have never once had a crush. All of my friends have crushes, boyfriends and or girlfriends and they think it's strange I haven't and so do I. I am hoping I'm a late bloomer because I would be so absolutely devastated if I find out for sure that I am actually aromantic. It's just not fair. I have been avoiding looking up people's stories about how they found out because I am scared to see myself in them. What do you think I should do?

[Mo]

Hi there Cannonpie, and welcome to Scarleteen.

It's really hard for us (or anyone) to know if you aren't having crushes because you just aren't coming across someone you're really feeling attracted to, or if you aren't much of a crush-having person at all. Some people have romantic feelings and attachments but don't tend to get "crushes" a lot, or need to get to know someone for a long time before they develop those feelings. Other people feel romantic attraction but feel it pretty rarely. There are a lot of ways to feel (or not feel) those things!

Keep in mind, too, that for many people, orientation isn't fixed forever. You might find that aromantic is an identity that fits you right now but doesn't fit later, and that doesn't mean your identity at either time isn't valid. I think the best thing you can do for yourself at the moment is to be patient! I know that can be easier said than done, but I do think it'll help.