Virgin thoughts

[Callmequeen]

Hi there

I'll be turning twenty soon and I'm still a virgin. I'm pretty much the only virgin in my friends group and also I've never had a boyfriend in my life. Never even hooked up.

But I feel like I am ready for sex though. I know A LOT about it and I feel like I would be good in it. My friends who have sex a lot come to me for advice about it.
I haven't met anyone who interests me. I mean I don't just want to give it up to anyone. I would want a boyfriend who has a lot of things in common with me so I would want to feel a connection obviously. But I don't think I want a virgin guy. I want an older guy and also one with experience . Someone who would know how to satisfy me. So hears my question, can virgin girls have an orgam on their first time of having sex? Would it hurt ? It would suck if I wouldn't have an orgasm though.
I do masturbate a lot but I never insert anything nor do I even wear tampons. I tried once using the smallest tampons but it was super uncomfortable.
I know in order to enjoy sex you need to me aroused. And I get aroused so quickly . So I won't have a problem there . But is it true that virgins are tighter? Can I guy feel that you're a virgin?
This is bothering me SO much!

[al]

Hi there callmequeen, and welcome to Scarleteen!

It sounds like you have a lot of concerns about what it's like to have sex for the first time. That's a pretty common experience for young people, especially when there's a lot of misinformation out there surrounding sex, virginity, orgasm, and the female body.
It seems like a lot of your questions might be answered in reading this article: Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context. It helps dispel some of the myths around someone's "first time" (including the ones about being "tighter", about the first time being painful, and about someone else being able to tell whether you've had sex before).
It's good to hear that you've thought about who you might like your first time having sex to be with, and that you haven't done it yet because you didn't feel the right person has come along.
Whenever someone chooses to have sex (whether early on or when they're older), it's important that they are doing it because they feel ready and they want to rather than feeling like they have to in order to "keep up" with other people their age, or because someone else has put pressure on them. There is no shame in not having hooked up with anyone or had sex at age 20 - there are a lot of people who had sex for the first time when they were much older (or even not at all!). It should be something that you get to fully enjoy without having to feel self-conscious about your body or the amount of experience you have. It's also great to hear that you're looking forward to having an orgasm and having someone make you feel good, because that means you're thinking about how you can get your wants and needs met. Have you done any thinking about what it would be like to talk to a partner about what you want?

In terms of what you said about using tampons, there are a couple of different reasons why inserting it could be really uncomfortable, but it usually isn't because you haven't had penetratice sex before. One reason could be that the angle of insertion isn't quite right. The insert in the tampon package (or instructions online from the manufacturer) should be able to demonstrate the proper technique. I often hear people describe a learning curve with using tampons for the first time - that it takes some practice to get the hang of it and get used to the feeling of putting it in and taking it out, but eventually it becomes second nature!

Hope this helps.