part name question (newbie)

[bikinksterboy]

what should I call the vagina, vulva, and other female genitalia without sounding stiff or scientific, but also without having to resort to slang like pussy, twat, cunt etc.?

[Sam W]

Hi BiKinkster,

My advice would be to generally default to the scientific names, especially when you're not sure what terms are okay with the people you're around. Even if they sound technical, they're not loaded in the way some slang can be. If you're with a partner, which terms are okay/preferred is part of the bigger conversation about what you each do and do not want during sex. That way you avoid accidentally using a word that a previous partner was fine with but that seriously freaks out your current partner.

[Anna246]

You can use different names at different time. Obviously you can use the slang once when you'r being naughty, and the scientific names when you are being good.

[Heather]

Just to be clear, what we call someone else's body parts isn't just about when we're engaging in sex with them or aren't. Ultimately, that should be more influenced by what the person whose parts they are wants and doesn't than about our own ideas. And when we're unsure about what someone wants, if we stick more to clinical/anatomical terms, we're less likely to cross someone's lines.

Then, as we get to know someone more, we can ask what they prefer and also just be observant about what words they use when talking about their own parts.

Also, the idea that being sexual is bad or naughty, and not being so is good is something I would always suggest everyone question rather than hold up. There's nothing inherently "bad" or "naughty" about sexuality and/or consensual sex.