Masturbation/Fingering

[violetmix]

So my boyfriend and i are kinda active - he just fingers me sometimes
but i've been questioning this for a long time
Whenever i finger myself - i don't feel any pleasure
but whenever my boyfriend does it - i easily feel pleasure

I'm really confused on if i'm doing it wrong or not
i used to be scared to do it and now that i'm trying to - i can't seem to feel anything
i need some advice or something please i'm just very confused

[Sam W]

Hi violetmix,

There are a few things that might be going on here. One is that, when you try to masturbate, are you feeling mentally aroused? Because the brain is the biggest sexual organ, so if it's not very engaged, masturbation may not feel good. Another factor may be that he's moving his hands in a different way than you are, so you could ask him how he tends to move them (since you can feel it but not see exactly what he's doing). It may be that there's also angles at play, which would make it hard for you to replicate what he does. But ultimately, there's no "wrong" way to masturbate, so try not to feel too down on yourself if this takes time to figure out.