Bitter about goodbye

[bigbywolf]

so my boyfriend and i are very, very happy. This is the healthiest relationship ive ever been in. We've only been together for about a year, but this honest to goodness feels like the kind of relationship that could last for a very very long time.

The only issue is that it really can't, because we're both going to university next year. There's a chance we'll go to the same university/be in the same area, but there's an equally high chance of him getting accepted into a university very far away. I've told him to go for the best university on offer because as happy as i am now, a highschool relationship is, realistically, only ever going to /be/ temporary whereas university education will help him for the rest of his life (and because i love him, i want what will be the best thing for him). So I know there is an "end" for us, but it does make me sad that we might have to face that "end" before we emotionally want to. I do not want the advice of a long distance relationship, as im a very tactile person and the last time I tried that I was overcome with a serious bout of depression. I just wanted this to be out there, I guess.

[Heather]

Those kinds of transitions are so hard and so bittersweet.

You know, though, in my experience as someone who has been around for bunch of decades now, so often relationships really don't "end." I mean, we certainly can end them, and if one person in them wants them to be All Over at a given time, we've got to go with that.

On the other hand, sometimes changes like this are more of a "seeya later," where you DO see them later, or a "let's see how this goes and try interacting in a different way," which can, for instance, result in a lifelong friendship, or even getting back together again romantically or sexually (or both) later in life.

That said, I commend you on your approach here. personally, I've generally found that the old adage "If you love someone, let them go," really is often a good one, especially when it comes to Big Life Explores like this. People going about that this way, rather than trying to hang on for dear life, or change to a model they know won't be a good fit, generally seems to me to net much better results for everyone.

[Keda]

I think you're making a sensible decision too - a relationship is about helping both (or all) people in it grow, and increase their happiness, and build the kind of lives they want to lead. If that goal can best be achieved by the end of the relationship, then that's sad, but ultimately, the relationship has succeeded.

But all the knowing it's a good decision in the world, doesn't make breaking up feel any less sucky. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, both of you. *hugs*

I hope you can keep making each other happy for the future, too, in other ways.