So I have a friend who I met online who lives an hour away. We've met up in person a few times now, and we've been talking daily for about 6 months. We really understand each other, and we "speak each other's language", you might say. Recently, we were talking, and I confided in him that I've been wanting to lose my virginity (we both recognize that virginity is a social construct and all that) but I have no avenue to do so through. Dating apps and sites didn't go anywhere, and I don't know how much I trust a near-stranger to be clean and understanding. Long story short, the idea of my friend and I having sex came up - just a casual thing. We'll be hanging out next weekend and we'll probably do it then, and we both made it clear that we can back out at any time.
He's a lot more experienced than me, and he's also trans (pre-op and taking hormones) which isn't a problem. What I am worried about is how to make sure we're safe from STIs and all that. He got herpes from a hook-up about a month ago, but his doctor gave him an anti-viral medicine and claimed it reduces the chance of transmitting it down to less than 1% with regular use. Should we still use stuff like dental dams? Where would I even get those? I'm so lost, and I don't want to assume anything about how he feels as a transman, like if receiving oral sex with a dental dam in place might make him feel dysphoric or not. I'm planning on discussing details like that with him before the time comes, but I wanted to see if anyone here had any ideas. Any help is appreciated, and thank you in advance!
