Twin Problems

[Catherwren]

My twin sister and I have always been best friends, but we've been fighting a lot. She has a quick temper, and I just seem to annoy her a lot. I'm just not sure how to go about repairing our relationship.

[Sam W]

Hi Catherwren,

Can you tell me a little more about what this dynamic looks like? And if it started fairly recently, is there anything going on elsewhere in your lives that you think might be contributing to the shift in your relationship?

[Catherwren]

It started fairly recently, I think. We fight a lot, and most of the time it's pretty silly and we don't mean anything, but sometimes we actually fight. I think since we just became teenagers, that could be a factor

[Mo]

It's not unusual for siblings to go through periods of time where they have more conflict than others, and I think it's especially common during adolescence. When people go through a lot of personal development, that can cause new changes or conflicts in existing relationships. You're both learning more about what kind of people you are & want to be, and that might result in a bit more conflict as you grow into being your own selves.

It might be helpful to take a moment, when you're not currently fighting or otherwise frustrated with each other, to check in with her to make sure there isn't anything in particular that's bothering her about your relationship. Often sibling conflicts will work themselves out over time, but if you can set up a baseline for communication to make sure there aren't significant problems that you need to address, I think it will be easier.