What are things that make you happy/interest you outside of a relationship?

[Sam W]

This might seem like an odd topic to put in the relationships section, but it actually addresses something that we know is important. Sometimes when we talk to people about their lives or dating, it seems like they don't have any passions in life outside of their romantic relationship.

While that's understandable (and certainly a lot of cultural messages tell us that we should spend all of energy on pursuing or being in romantic relationships) it actually runs counter to what we know helps people in their relationships with others and themselves. If you have other passions in life, it helps remind you that you are not only your relationships (which is handy if, say, a break up happens). And having lots of things you do or enjoy can go a long way towards helping you love yourself as well.

With that in mind, what are things y'all like or do outside of your romantic relationships? For example, some of mine are:

-Working here
-Boxing
-cultivating a deep knowledge of old (usually bad) horror movies
-Researching and writing about cryptids and the paranormal

[capablehippie]

I really forgot to do these things/took my focus off them for a long time in my relationship, so that's not good, but I've been trying a little bit to do them more recently.
I like to:
Read
Write in my journal
Create or decorate things

[Ashleah]

I try to make time for one or more of these things daily, even if it means leaving our apartment in the middle of the night:

Working out
Creepy TV shows or movies (anything with some sort of mystical or evil creature/character is my shish)
Style magazines
Action movies at the theater (I usually go to the last show on a weekday so I can really have some me time)
Being outside (ideally getting in a nap)

[Mo]

I spend a good amount of time knitting! I do it on my own as a way to relax and also have some friends I will knit or talk about patterns/yarn with.
I really enjoy taking walks in my neighborhood, either while running errands or just for fun; tied in with that I take a lot of photos when I'm out walking as well.
In addition, I have my own group of friends (mostly online) who I talk to a lot; some of them are friends with my partners as well but I make sure to cultivate friendships that feel like "mine" and not just "friends of a partner who are also mine."

[Onionpie]

Great post! I definitely used to be someone who would jump head-first into a relationship and put all my interests aside. But I now appreciate the beauty in hobbies and interests! I love things! All the things!
Reading
Writing
Playing music
Boxing
Drawing/colouring
Watching sci-fi/fantasy/horror tv shows and movies
Baking
Working with kids and teaching
social justice activism!

[Kaizen]

- Write in my journal
- Reread my old journals
- Read
- Write fiction
- Reread old things I've written
- Read and edit/add examples on a site called TVTropes
- Play Just Dance
- Crochet (which reminds me I need a new project. So far I've made scarves for my boyfriend and I, and an earwarmer with a crocheted flower for my sister)
- Shoot basketball (unfortunately, now a car is usually parked under the hoop at my house)
- Cook (I've made three new recipes this summer, as well as some I'd already made)
- Discover new music/listen to music I like
- Read/watch/listen to stuff from/about space missions!
- Try out new indie apps and give feedback
- Make lists/collect statistics about myself (I'm so nerdy! I'm currently cataloging the dates of the year on which I've written journal entries, to see if there's any date I've written every single year since I started.)

[Marlet]

I love music a lot. Whenever I'm down it's only music that helps me out and I guess it does for a lot.

[Someone]

Reading, crafting, going out for walks, playing with my pets are all things I love to do And those wouldn't change regardless of whether or not I was in a relationship.

[Jacob]

Playing my guitar, writing poems, meditation and yogaaaaa

[ladyrevan21]

-MST3K. A lot of it.

-Reading.

-Music.

-Writing.

-Movies.

-MyFutureSelf. It's a really cool private journaling site.

-Journaling in general.

-Reddit.

That's just to name a few. (Also, awesome thread! Seriously.)

[Carrie2002]

I love to write stories and poetry.
I love to sing and enjoy listening to music.
And I enjoy my volunteer work at the hospital.

[pinocchio]

I love hiking, kayaking, trees, moss, temperate rainforests, snow, glaciers, mountains.
I love Bach's Brandenburg Concertos, and playing them with my friends.
I love Brahms symphonies, and playing them in big concert halls.
I love my grandma's cooking, and playing cards with her and my grandpa.
I love having snowball fights with my cousins.
I love that acrid feeling you get in your lungs when you run and push yourself hard on a cold day. I love avenues and country roads that I've run and biked on my entire life, that lead out to snow-covered foothills where trees grow densely. I love apple cider, and places far away from the city. I love trilliums.
I love mountain passes, and how the foliage changes all within a line of three feet along a ridgeline—on one side, you have little
I love going skinny dipping in natural hot springs. I love muddy feet, and freezing showers, and camping tents. I love how camping mattresses pick up the scent of campfire smoke, subtlely, along with a certain dampness (not quite mold or mildew, just the smell of things that get wet in the rain). I love biking on sand dunes.
I love the scientific names of plants. I love the maples who scatter refracted light-green light all over the lava rocks at the pass; I love the little leaves that speckle the mountain with gold in the autumn.
I love small mountain lakes, and how land stretches out between human-named landmarks over mountain ranges and other wild spaces: There is still so much we humans do not know in this land. I love those remote points in between, that you can only find on the map with coordinate points or under the name "wilderness".
I love my family's church, and the guitarist and his wife, and the drummer, and our little church band. I love playing mariachi, and singing loudly and brightly into the mics regardless of whether it's good; it only needs to be fun.