Soy interactions?

[Kela]

Hi everyone
Just want to bounce a question off you guys..I've started drinking soya milk as a way to be dairy free, and my manager at work said that soy messes with your hormones? I have nexplanon so firstly is this true? And secondly would it be an interaction with my nexplanon? I've read my patient information leaflet and it says no known interactions with food or drink and the only herbal remedy which might interact is st johns wort? Can you help? X

[Sam W]

Hi Kela,

If you read the leaflet for Nexplanon and it says it doesn't interact with food or drinks, I'd go ahead and trust it.

[snailshell]

You should be fine: http://www.livestrong.com/article/54521 ... h-control/

[Heather]

By all means, this is not something listed in any contraceptive materials as a possible interaction. And the very best source on how to use your method properly -- and what may be problematic -- is the literature provided by the manufacturer of your method (so, the leaflet you got when you got your implant and/or their patient information on their website). Your manager at work casually talking about soy and hormones (and in a really half-baked way, btw), isn't a source to take seriously.

If I recall correctly, trusting even a highly reliable method of contraception has proved difficult for you for a while now. Would you like to try and talk through that to see if we can't get to some solutions?

[Kela]

Thankyou for the reply

If you have any suggestions on any solutions I'll gratefully hear them

[Heather]

Sure. Let me check in on a couple basic things first that are often factors here:
1) Are you also using condoms when you engage in intercourse?
2) Do you understand HOW your method works and have faith in the science about how it works and its efficacy levels?
3) Do you generally feel safe with your partner?
4) Are you engaging in sex that you really want to be having, enjoy and feel like brings real benefit to your life? Or does it feel more like something you have to do, or don't mind doing, but don't feel that awesome about?

[Kela]

In answer to your questions:

1. I am not currently having the kinds of sex that require a condom

2. I think so pretty much read every patient and dr information leaflets, medical papers, everything there is to read on it

3. Yes 100%

4. I thought that choosing other kinds of sex would make me feel reassured.

[Karyn]

So it sounds like the first three possibilities may not be where the problem lies, but can I ask about your answer to Heather's fourth question? Choosing to have the kinds of sex that aren't intercourse doesn't really relate to whether or not you're enjoying the kinds of sex you have, and whether you really want to be having sex because you have a strong desire for it. Is sex something you really get enjoyment out of, something that feels like a big positive in your life?

[Kela]

I don't know what my remaining options are.

I've had counselling, which I had for a considerable amount of time, and it did help alot, however, there comes a point where to keep focusing on the same issues keeps me in a stuck place. There wasn't really much else to explore with my counselling so that is why I stopped.
My other option is what I'm currently doing is not having the kinds of sex that cause pregnancy, but I still find myself anxious to an extent. I do not know when I won't be worried about this, so what are my remaining options? I don't see myself never having sex again, but at what point do I run out of options to help me out of this?

[Ashleah]

Hi Kela,

Healthcare, both for our physical and mental well being, can really be seen as a continuous process. Even if we aren't feeling "sick" at the moment, we still have to check in to maintain our general health. If some new things (and even old) have been coming up for you, it's still a great option to check in with a counselor Mental healthcare is truly something we are never done with!!!

From your responses, I'm still not clear on if sex is something that you enjoy. If it is not something you consider pleasurable, can you give me some insight into what you do get out of sex? Or basically what are your reasons for engaging in sex. And throwing some of your concerns back at you, what would happen if you didn't engage in sex until you felt comfortable? What is your concern about not engaging in the types of sex that make you feel worried?

[Kela]

I get what you're saying about the counselling, but me and my counsellor have explored my issues with sex, there comes a point where it's wasn't a productive use of either of our time to continue because I know why I fear sex, I know the reasons behind it (religious reasons etc) so it really didn't serve either of us to continue. I did go back for a one off session just to check in but really there is no more ground to cover when it comes to my issues with sex. And at £40 a time, it really didn't make financial sense either.

I do enjoy it, it helps me feel close to my partner in ways that you just don't feel with, for example, friends or family.

In answer to your question what would happen if I didn't engage in sex till I was comfortable...I don't know when, if ever, I will feel comfortable. So I am potentially looking at never having sex again if I waited till I was comfortable, because I just don't know when that will be. I suppose it would be when I am comfortable with the possibility of getting pregnant and at the moment I am just not. I am the sort of person that, even if for example I ever had a hysterectomy for whatever reason, I would still insist on using three forms of contraception, my anxiety is that bad. So I find myself in between a rock and a hard place, because I really don't see any other options other than waiting indefinitely until I feel comfortable.

[Heather]

You know, when we keep doing something we don't really feel comfortable with, what can happen is that we just keep validating our discomfort. So, I would suggest you just consider that since, in my experience with you over the years here as best I recall, you really have NOT tried NOT engaging in sex with a partner pretty much from the front, but instead have (and if I am not recalling your whole history, my apologies, and please correct me) kind of gone along with a partner's desire for sex despite your discomfort? You might figure that it may be exactly that that would most assure you STAY uncomfortable. Get what I am saying?

Too, if you really did never ever feel comfortable engaging in sex, still having it really wouldn't be a good answer. Instead, if that truly was the reality, you'd likely feel a lot better NOT doing that thing than you would doing it anyway for all your life. I don't feel at all comfortable eating meat, as an example, and, like sex, lucky for me, it's optional. I would so NOT feel better if I just made myself eat it anyway, and if the choices were eating something I didn't feel good about and never doing that, never would definitely be what I'd be picking.

Why would, as you say, "I really don't see any other options other than waiting indefinitely until I feel comfortable," be a problem? What do you feel like you wouldn't get to have or would lose if you did that?

So, what if you really DID only do what you feel comfortable with? What would that be? What things DO you feel comfortable with that give you those feelings of intimacy you like? What things give you that intimacy, too, that are not sex?

Too: with where you landed with the counselor, was this just with ONE counselor? In other words, if you felt like with one counselor you just couldn't move forward past a certain place with this, but only one counselor, the issue may not be that counseling doesn't help, but that this particular counselor and/or how you two interact wasn't the ticket.

One last thing: how are you doing with anxiety on the whole? In other words, is sex the only place you're dealing with anixety, or is it showing up in other places as well?

[Heather]

Just realized that was a lot all at once, I'm sorry. I personally would be pretty overwhelmed with all that.

If you are, too, I actually think the biggest thing in that was just this:

Why would, as you say, "I really don't see any other options other than waiting indefinitely until I feel comfortable," be a problem? What do you feel like you wouldn't get to have or would lose if you did that?

Can we talk about that some? I feel like in the past, when we touched on that, a lot of it came down to you feeling like that was your lone way into intimate relationships with men, but a) it's been a while, and b) I want to make sure I am even recalling that correctly. There may also be a bigger list than just that.