No pleasure from sex or anything when with partner?

[Metallicab8]

So, I've been in several relationships but have just recently had sex for the first time. Now I find that whenever my partner does things that should or would normally feel good to me, I end up feeling nothing. I usually masturbate by grinding on a pillow, so I thought that maybe if he applied pressure similarly to how I masturbate, it'd make a difference! Ah but sadly that is not the case...it may be because I'm too focused on pleasuring him? I honestly don't know and am frustrated. I feel like I'm just lying to him and putting on a show for him by acting like everything feels super good. He's eaten me out and fingered me and everything, yet nothing seems to be having any effect on me. Thank you for your help! <3

[Karyn]

Hi Metallicab8, and welcome to Scarleteen.

This may sound like a bit of a silly question, but is sex with this person something you want? And are you aroused mentally and wanting sex before anything physical happens?

[Metallicab8]

Hi Metallicab8, and welcome to Scarleteen.

This may sound like a bit of a silly question, but is sex with this person something you want? And are you aroused mentally and wanting sex before anything physical happens?

Yes most definitely! Thank you so much for responding

[Sam W]

Okay! So, if you're feeling attracted to him and aroused, what's the status of other things in your life right now? Are there things going on at school, or with family or friends, that are making you stressed or anxious? Because sometimes that tension can unintentionally affect things like sex.

Something that might be helpful is to think about things that do feel good that you two could try. Those things may not be inherently sexual, all they have to be is pleasurable. Are there things like massage, or having your hair pet, or even being talked to in a certain way that make you feel pleasure?