Did I take the test correctly ??

[Karyn]

I'm sorry you're feeling so upset, but it does sound like you've realized some very important things here.

When you say he won't let you leave, can you explain a bit more about what that means?

[lucli]

Hi yes he days things like relationships aren't always easy and they always need work. We have something great that not many Have. We should focus on the positive and enjoy everything and be happy. I shouldn't worry so much or be afraid.

But I am. I'm do worry a lot I haven't completely left the pregnancy scare yet.

And he is super patient and kind about everything.

[Karyn]

Thanks for clarifying that for me.

So, relationships do require some effort on the part of everyone involved, but no amount of effort is going to change things if you're just feeling plain done with this relationship and unhappy about being in it. Too, feeling like you might not find another relationship as good is a crummy reason to stay: there's a pretty widespread idea that being in a relationship - any relationship - is better than being single, but that's just not true. People can be content and happy and fulfilled in their lives regardless of their relationship status, and a good relationship will be something that adds even more good stuff to your life, not a cause of worry and stress.

If you haven't seen this piece already, I think it might be a really good read for you: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

[lucli]

Thanks! I loved the repair shop, I'll put it into practice. Most of the ideas in the "should I stay" section apply to me, I even got excited.
And not so many apply to the counterpart.

I really believe this stress is affecting my whole life in son many levels.

Next week I'll start to see a therapist about it. It's just that i don't know where to look, or what to do at this very moment.

It really feels like my worries might be real (even if their not as you all have told me, over and over) but they do keep me from living and loving and enjoying anything.

I feel caged, I feel like I blame the world or want to leave everything, like run from everithing including people I love. Because my fears, anxiety are bigger. I'm not sure I see reality.

But yes next week I start with a therapist, and also next week I should get my period. So things should be much more relaxed in my life by then. I hope.

[lucli]

I've been feeling dizzy and tired.. I guess that's because of all the stress. I need a break from myself.

[Karyn]

Anxiety can really mess with your life, for sure. I'm so glad you're seeing a therapist soon, and hopefully they'll be able to help (although it's worth keeping in mind that there is no instant fix here, it's going to take some time and work before you start feeling better). We actually have a piece on getting the most out of therapy if you want to take a look: Process This: Getting the Most Out of Therapy

In the meantime, the best thing you can do is try to take care of yourself: do things you know help keep you from focusing on your worries, whatever those things might be.

[lucli]

Thanks Karyn you're super sweet.

[Karyn]

Glad to help!

[lucli]

Hi I called clearblue. And explains my situation.
I had sex, two days later normal period. 19 days later test.
And they told me that I can't trust the result.. I must test again next week. They told me it was too soon.
Omg omg
I'm freaking out.

[Karyn]

First things first: take a couple of deep breaths, okay? I know this is scary for you, but I promise it isn't the end of the world.

I'm sorry the person on the phone told you that you need to test again, but that's all that means: another test. It doesn't change anything we told you earlier about your risk of pregnancy. There's not much you can do right now except wait until you can test again, but if you like we can talk about some strategies for getting through that wait.

[lucli]

Ok so I'm still free from the risk right???
I'm breathing I swear. I just got a bit dizzy. I'll retest Sunday (that's day 28)

[Karyn]

Because we've discussed the level of risk with you a lot, I'm not going to get into a conversation about it again, but you can go through the information we've already given you if that's helpful.

If you find yourself getting panicky again, these are a couple of tricks that can help you calm yourself down:
https://www.anxietybc.com/adults/calm-breathing
https://www.anxietybc.com/adults/how-do ... relaxation

It would probably also be useful for you to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied with other things over the next few days until you see the therapist you have an appointment with. If you can stay busy with things you enjoy, that you know help you relax, even better.

[lucli]

It's just that with so much we've talked I'm not sure I know what you have told me anymore.

[Karyn]

You can read through your previous thread right here: http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5526

However, one thing to keep in mind about anxiety is that continuing to seek out reassurance and information is actually counterproductive, and it just tends to keep you stuck in the anxiety loop rather than helping you move on. With that in mind, I would suggest that you take the rest of today away from the computer and the internet to do something that you enjoy, trying some deep breathing to calm yourself if necessary. Does that sound doable?

[lucli]

Thanks for the relaxation pages, I'll do them right now.
Yes I'll then watch a movie and have a bath. Thank you for the patience.

[Karyn]

You're welcome. I hope the rest of your day is less stressful!

[lucli]

Hi I hope your doing great.
I'm writing just to keep you updated and it also helps me feel accompanied (hope that's ok)

Yesterday afternoon and night I did my breathing excercises and watched a movie and I felt calmed. It helped me. But early morning I started to be a bit anxious. I've been trying to keep it down. What I've done this time is review all the facts to calm my mind.

I know we don't talk about what I'm about to write and you can ignore it, it just helps me calm down to write it.

1) period is due in 5 days or so (the wait is not as long as it used to)
2) no eyaculation happened at all when we had sex
3) I got my period a day or two after sex
4) probably I didn't ovulate from day 1 to day 7 from my new cycle (average life time of sperm inside a woman)
5) even if I did ovulate, I took two pregnancy tests (2 and 3 weeks after sex) and both were negative
6) yes the condom broke but we don't know exactly when (probably from the water prove) and it seems (from what I remember ) it broke from the top and not from the bottom, maybe that helps ?
7) help is on the way, Monday I start therapy, and I'll learn to control anxiety
8) we've been talking about anxiety and not about pregnancy.. there for my real problem is learning to take control of my emotions. And not to learn to take care of a baby (because this isn't going to happen, even if I still have my doubts)
9) I've been having tender breast this last days (sign of pms) in just waiting for the cramps. Fingers crossed.

Now I'll start my breathings again to relax.

Thanks for the support it helps me to have someone to talk to, I've been feeling very lonely and hopeless but coming here helps me calm and see things in perspective. Sorry for writing so much.

[Karyn]

Hi lucli, I just wanted to check in and see how your first therapy appointment went, and how you're doing with managing your anxious feelings.

[lucli]

Hi Karyn !
That really sweet thank you. It was great, well at least I'm excited to start new. I hope it works. I'm still dealing with anxiety, I just keep breathing and doing the excercices you recommended me.
Hope your doing great too. Thanks everyone for the support.

[Karyn]

I'm glad it went well for you, and that the breathing exercises are helping.