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Can abuse be unintentional?

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
no
not a newbie
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Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:41 pm
Age: 25
Location: United States

Can abuse be unintentional?

Unread post by no »

My boyfriend held me down and touched me without asking, but in the past, I had given him permission to do that. After asking him, he told me that it was what he thought I wanted. Can it still be sexual abuse even without him meaning for it to be? Even if he genuinely thought it was what i wanted?
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 40
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: Can abuse be unintentional?

Unread post by Karyn »

It is possible for someone not to realise that what they're doing is abusive, yes. Is this the first time your boyfriend has done something like this?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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