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I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
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Sam W
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Sam W »

That's a great strategy. If you can, I would suggest making a list of all the places you could stay or go to that would keep you away from your aunt, so you know your options if things continue like this (or escalate).

One other option is to contact a domestic violence resource in your area. They may have some ability to help you safety plan as well.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
KittyPink
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Sam W wrote:That's a great strategy. If you can, I would suggest making a list of all the places you could stay or go to that would keep you away from your aunt, so you know your options if things continue like this (or escalate).

One other option is to contact a domestic violence resource in your area. They may have some ability to help you safety plan as well.
Didn't realize it, but I may of hurt my shoulder a bit.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
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Age: 33
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Sam W »

Ouch. If that's the case, maybe check-in with the school nurse to see if everything is okay?

Do you know if there's a DV resource you're able to contact?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Sam W wrote:Ouch. If that's the case, maybe check-in with the school nurse to see if everything is okay?

Do you know if there's a DV resource you're able to contact?
I'm not sure if there is resources to contact, and if anything, they would be for nearby major cities. (I.e. Cleveland.)
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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LIVE AND LEARN
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

KittyPink wrote:
Sam W wrote:Ouch. If that's the case, maybe check-in with the school nurse to see if everything is okay?

Do you know if there's a DV resource you're able to contact?
I'm not sure if there is resources to contact, and if anything, they would be for nearby major cities. (I.e. Cleveland.)
Got some ice for my shoulder and updated the situation.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

KittyPink wrote:
KittyPink wrote:
Sam W wrote:Ouch. If that's the case, maybe check-in with the school nurse to see if everything is okay?

Do you know if there's a DV resource you're able to contact?
I'm not sure if there is resources to contact, and if anything, they would be for nearby major cities. (I.e. Cleveland.)
Got some ice for my shoulder and updated the situation.
Now, I'm being told that I lied and that I was never grabbed.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

A quick google search didn't turn up any resources in your town specifically, but would you be open to phoning some of the services in Cleveland to see if they have any suggestions for you?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:A quick google search didn't turn up any resources in your town specifically, but would you be open to phoning some of the services in Cleveland to see if they have any suggestions for you?


Yeah.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

Okay. So maybe that's the next step then? And in the meantime, making arrangements to spend as much time out of the house as possible is probably a good idea.

Edited to add: There's a list of resources here as a starting place if you need one: https://www.domesticshelters.org/clevel ... elp?page=1
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:Okay. So maybe that's the next step then? And in the meantime, making arrangements to spend as much time out of the house as possible is probably a good idea.
I'm not sure if making any sort of contact with resources is a good idea, although. Ironically, my grandmother asked if I wanted CPS called.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

What is it about contacting resources that you're concerned about?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:What is it about contacting resources that you're concerned about?
I'm not sure, it just doesn't feel like a good idea after today blew up. (By the way, I'm never trusting counselors again, other than like the one that's currently on maternity leave.)
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

That's understandable, although if you want to revisit the possibility in the future, we can always lend a hand with finding resources in your area.

For now, is there anything else we can help you with?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:That's understandable, although if you want to revisit the possibility in the future, we can always lend a hand with finding resources in your area.

For now, is there anything else we can help you with?
Not really, other than may trying to explain to me how it sounds like a good idea (protocol or not), to fucking tell my grandmother that I reported my aunt for the incident yesterday. Because that's what the substitute counselor did.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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LIVE AND LEARN
Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

I just want to make sure I understand properly what happened: the counselor you spoke to reported the incident with your aunt, and then told your grandmother that you reported it yourself? Or the counsellor just spoke to your grandmother?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:I just want to make sure I understand properly what happened: the counselor you spoke to reported the incident with your aunt, and then told your grandmother that you reported it yourself? Or the counsellor just spoke to your grandmother?
The counselor did, which is something I didn't like being done.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

I'm still not sure I fully understand what happened, and if the counsellor did not tell you ahead of time that they were going to speak to anyone about the incident with your aunt, then it's understandable you're upset. Even when a report legally has to be made, the person whose safety or wellbeing is at risk should be informed that a report will be made.

Unfortunately, it is the law in Ohio (as it is in most places) that certain people, if they know or suspect that abuse is happening, have to report that abuse if the person being abused is under 18. Anyone who works at a school, for instance, is a mandated reporter: it is a crime for them not to report abuse or to act when they know that abuse is happening. However, it doesn't sound like this particular counsellor handled that responsibility very well at all, and I'm sorry for that.

For now, I completely agree with Sam's suggestion that your best course of action in the meantime is to find a way to spend as much time out of the house as possible (if you can), until your grandmother and your aunt are hopefully a bit calmer.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:I'm still not sure I fully understand what happened, and if the counsellor did not tell you ahead of time that they were going to speak to anyone about the incident with your aunt, then it's understandable you're upset. Even when a report legally has to be made, the person whose safety or wellbeing is at risk should be informed that a report will be made.

Unfortunately, it is the law in Ohio (as it is in most places) that certain people, if they know or suspect that abuse is happening, have to report that abuse if the person being abused is under 18. Anyone who works at a school, for instance, is a mandated reporter: it is a crime for them not to report abuse or to act when they know that abuse is happening. However, it doesn't sound like this particular counsellor handled that responsibility very well at all, and I'm sorry for that.

For now, I completely agree with Sam's suggestion that your best course of action in the meantime is to find a way to spend as much time out of the house as possible (if you can), until your grandmother and your aunt are hopefully a bit calmer.
Well, at least from what I heard, it sounded like the counselor asked about it, like it was immediately presumed to be a lie. And, I honestly don't know what my grandmother's said.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Mo
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Mo »

Would it be helpful to talk to the counselor again to try to clarify what they said and did exactly? As Karyn said, it sounds like they handled this situation very poorly, which is unfortunate, but talking with them about what they did & how they handled it might give you a better sense of the situation.
KittyPink
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Mo wrote:Would it be helpful to talk to the counselor again to try to clarify what they said and did exactly? As Karyn said, it sounds like they handled this situation very poorly, which is unfortunate, but talking with them about what they did & how they handled it might give you a better sense of the situation.
See below.
Last edited by KittyPink on Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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LIVE AND LEARN
KittyPink
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Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Mo wrote:Would it be helpful to talk to the counselor again to try to clarify what they said and did exactly? As Karyn said, it sounds like they handled this situation very poorly, which is unfortunate, but talking with them about what they did & how they handled it might give you a better sense of the situation.
I don't even know if I want to talk to the counselor again, I'm really pissed that happened and I'm not really trusting them anymore.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

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Karyn
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.

Unread post by Karyn »

That's understandable. What do you think you would like to do about it, if anything?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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