Can't make my gf orgasm
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- Age: 24
- Primary language: English
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- Location: Minnesota
Can't make my gf orgasm
My girlfriend and I have been becoming increasingly more sexual and have moved to touching each other's vaginas but only over the underwear and she has been able to make me orgasm but I can't seem to make her because it seems like every 3 seconds she's guiding my hand to a new place which I know isn't her fault but by the time she gets close my arm is super tired and she says she either moved from the spot or I did or both and I just can't seem to get it right and it's frustrating for me because I want her to orgasm but I can't seem to make it happen and I know it must be frustrating for her as well and I want to try oral or at least under the underwear but she isn't ready for that which I respect. But overall I just don't know what to do
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Canada
Re: Can't make my gf orgasm
Welcome to the boards, Wojo. This does sound like a frustrating situation to be in.
Part of this might just be that your girlfriend isn't used to communicating with someone else about where she wants to be touched: it can take practice! One thing to try would be to ask her if she would tell you what she wants, rather than just moving your hand: saying things like "a little to the left" or "a bit more pressure" can sometimes be clearer and more specific than simply changing where your hand is. If both of you are comfortable with it, you could also try either holding your hand over hers as she masturbates, or just watching what she does so you have a better idea of the kinds of touch she likes and where she likes to be touched.
Too, if your arm is getting tired, it's worth experimenting with different angles and positions to find one that's comfortable for both of you. You can also pause occasionally for a few seconds to rest your hand and arm, which has the added benefit of giving you a chance to check in with her to see how she's doing and if there's anything you can do differently.
Part of this might just be that your girlfriend isn't used to communicating with someone else about where she wants to be touched: it can take practice! One thing to try would be to ask her if she would tell you what she wants, rather than just moving your hand: saying things like "a little to the left" or "a bit more pressure" can sometimes be clearer and more specific than simply changing where your hand is. If both of you are comfortable with it, you could also try either holding your hand over hers as she masturbates, or just watching what she does so you have a better idea of the kinds of touch she likes and where she likes to be touched.
Too, if your arm is getting tired, it's worth experimenting with different angles and positions to find one that's comfortable for both of you. You can also pause occasionally for a few seconds to rest your hand and arm, which has the added benefit of giving you a chance to check in with her to see how she's doing and if there's anything you can do differently.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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