Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

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KittyPink
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Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by KittyPink »

So, I have a friend who I'm growing feelings for again, and we previously had feelings for each other at the same time... She says she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, but some part of me thinks that might be a lie. Either way, me not being able to tell her is killing me.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

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Sam W
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Re: Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Kittypink,

Ooof, that's always a tricky situation to be in. If you were to tell her, do you think your friendship is in a place where it could recover from her not sharing those feelings?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Sam W wrote:Hi Kittypink,

Ooof, that's always a tricky situation to be in. If you were to tell her, do you think your friendship is in a place where it could recover from her not sharing those feelings?
I'm not sure... I know I could, I'm concerned about her end.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by Sam W »

How so? Are you worried about her being uncomfortable, or something else?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by KittyPink »

Sam W wrote:How so? Are you worried about her being uncomfortable, or something else?
Angry, possibly, uncomfortable, probably.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Having feelings again for a friend who previously had feelings for me, at the same time I had feelings for her.

Unread post by Sam W »

Okay, so maybe a first step is to figure out how you'd handle the different reactions you think she might have. That can help you feel more prepared when you disclose your feelings to her. Too, it may also be helpful for you to have a clear sense of what you're hoping to accomplish by revealing these feelings to her.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
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