how do I get rid of my hymen

[dinosaur.girl7]

Okay, this question sounds really dumb, but bear with me:

I've been having intercourse sex for over a year. The first time I had it wasn't painful at all (which was surprising to me, even though I know that first time sex shouldn't/doesn't need to be painful) and usually it's not uncomfortable/painful, because if it was I wouldn't be doing it. But the problem arises when I haven't seen my boyfriend in awhile/don't spend a ludicrous amount of time prepping beforehand. It tends to be painful, which is extremely annoying because I want to have sex. I know it's the hymen because a) I'm relaxed and aroused b) we're using lube and c) I can feel it. I know exactly what it is because I've felt it while masturbating and often my finger will catch on it and it sucks.
I know the hymen doesn't "break" (it might tear or rip, though) and that it's really just a thin membrane that can be stretched. The issue is I don't want to spend a long time trying to stretch it every time I haven't had sex in awhile, especially because I'm aspec and I'm not always interested in having sex regularly.
I know doctors will... cut it I guess? If you have a serious medical issue where there's not enough space for menstrual blood to flow, or if intercourse sex is constantly very painful. But I don't have either of those problems - it's only SOMETIMES painful. So will I still be able to ask a doctor to uh, cut/remove/whatever it if it's not that serious of an issue? It's really just an annoyance, but a major one for me at least. And if a doctor won't do it, can I do it myself? That seems like a bad idea, but people also rip their hymens during sex so. I don't know. What should I do that isn't just "deal with it"?

Thanks!

[Sam W]

Hi dinosaur.girl7,

I would say a definite "no" to trying to cut or or otherwise remove it yourself, just because the risk of infection or injury is higher that way. However, if this is really bothering you, step one is to talk with an OB-GYN about what's going on and what your options are in terms of dealing with it. Have you ever had an OB-GYN comment on your corona or told them about the issue?

[dinosaur.girl7]

I haven't, I've only seen my OBGYN once and it was a year ago. But I'm hoping to get another appointment soon. Would this be a reasonable thing to bring up??

[Heather]

Anything that concerns you about this part of your anatomy is reasonable to bring up with a healthcare provider whose job is this system.

And by all means, while it's not a very common issue, other patients do come to OB/GYNs asking about hymenectomy. Of course, this may actually not be your issue, but talking to your GYN about all of this is the very best person to start with, as they're the best person to figure out what's going on.

[dinosaur.girl7]

update: I did bring it up with my OBGYN, and turns out it was vaginismus, so I was totally wrong. Whoops! But I did find out what the problem was because I went to see my doctor, so thank you so much for encouraging me to talk to her!!

[Karyn]

Glad you've got an answer!