Guy probably not interested...can I ask him if he is?

[Alixana]

Hi Scarleteen!

So, two weeks ago, I went on a second date with a guy.We were watching movies at his place, and it led to us making out and me sleeping over. The day after we had breakfast, watched another movie and cuddled a bit before he had to do stuff and I went home.

I messaged him on Facebook the day after that and told him I had had a nice time and asked him if he wanted to meet again soon. He answered with "Maybeee. ^^", but also said he had a lot of school-work the coming week and not enough time.

So I thought I'd jut let him initiate a third date (at the time I was fairly sure he would do so, since he seemed to have had a nice time to). But he hasn't said anything. I know that probably means he's just not interested, but I can't stop thinking about it and making excuses like "Maybe he still has a lot to do in school, and will contact me soon". I think it would be easier to stop thinking about if I was sure he wasn't interested.

So know I'm wondering if it would be rude of me to message him and ask straightforwardly if that "Maybeee ^^" really meant "no". I don't want to be pushy or stalker-like.

[Sam W]

Hi Alixana,

I think it's a good impulse to not want to be pushy about this. And I think you're instinct that the "maybe" was really a soft "no" is a good one. I do think you can extend the offer of one more meeting-up. I would make it something specific, rather than something vague like "hanging out some time." Ask if he wants to get coffee, or go to a movie, or similar on a specific day. If he says yes, cool. If he says "no" or gives another maybe-ish response, then I think you have your answer and it's time to move on.

[Alixana]

I just feel silly for letting this bother me so much.

We only went on two dates, I wasn't even sure myself of how much I was into him, but still I feel unreasonably sad. I thought I had learned to handle rejection better than before, but apparently not. :/