Masturbation Issue

[TheNiteHawk]

Hello to all. I feel a bit self-conscious about posting this, but here goes:

Recently, I have been... how do I put this...? Not enjoying masturbation as much as I used to. The past 2 times I have masturbated (Thursday and Saturday evening) I just haven't felt as I have enjoyed it as much as previously. I used 2 different physical stimuli that I have recently discovered, and they both felt good the last times I used them, but not these times. I don't know why. I've been masturbating before I shower (as I don't get much home alone time (still in High School)), which gives me about 5 minutes or so before I get into the shower.

Now, I don't know if this is just a mental thing that I'm worrying about it not feeling as good as it used to or something like that. Perhaps I'm not feeling aroused enough, putting too much pressure on myself or feeling rushed?

I don't believe that it's due to me getting used to or my stimuli sort of desensitizing (if that's even possible), as I've used both my new stimuli a combined total of maybe 4-6 times in the past 2 months.

Maybe it's feeling just as good as it used to but it's reduced due to me worrying about it.

Regardless, I'm confused and a mite worried. Any questions you have in order to further assist me, feel free to ask.

[soft_masc]

Hi there!

There are lots of reasons why you could be experiencing this, including no reason at all, so I'm going to go over the ones that come to mind first.

It is possible to temporarily desensitize yourself to stimulation, but you're right that that doesn't sound like what you've got going on. You're also right that worrying can make things feel not as good (cool science interjection - sexual arousal involves your sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous systems cooperating, but feeling anxious primarily engages your sympathetic nervous system and interferes with that balance, which inhibits a typical arousal response). If you think that's what's going on here, I think finding as much time as you can to really focus on what you're feeling, without being rushed or pressured to achieve a certain outcome or experience, might help you get a handle on what you're experiencing. If you have some other stressor constantly on your mind, that could contribute as well.

They might also just be flukes. Sexual experiences are unique things, and two less-than-spectacular masturbation sessions might be nothing at all. I'd urge you not to worry too much about what could very well indicate no pattern whatsoever.

That said, your brain is your biggest sex organ and it's really going to influence how you experience your sexuality. It's totally normal and expected for sexual desire to ebb and flow over time, and it's possible you're entering a period of time where you're not feeling it as much. There's nothing wrong with that! You might choose to take a break from masturbating if it's not fun for you, or tone it down, or just keep going as usual (even if it's not a mind-blowing experience). There's definitely no wrong choice. I do want to reiterate that two unusual masturbation sessions don't really indicate any cause on their own, but if you're really worrying about it your worry could cause a change where none existed before.

All in all, I don't think you have anything to worry about here. Maybe it's nothing, maybe you're stressed about it or something else, maybe you just aren't really feeling masturbation right now. I'd recommend you try not stress about it and do what you're into. You know yourself and your body best, so I think you're best qualified to judge this.

[TheNiteHawk]

Thank you kindly soft_masc. I would say you have some very good points and ideas there, and I would say that any of those could be a reason. I think what I might do is to stop masturbating for a while and wait until I feel significantly aroused/horny, and then see how it feels to me then.

[Mo]

I think soft_masc had great thoughts up there, but I want to chime in too!

So much of sexual response, whether it's alone or with a partner, is wrapped up in your current emotional state or stress level at the time. If you aren't feeling really aroused, or are preoccupied with something else in your life, or even feeling sore or cranky or upset, that can be enough to make any kind of sex, partnered or not, just not feel that great in the moment.
Also, it could be that there are times when it's going to take your body a little longer to get to a fully relaxed and aroused state than you have. You mention having just five minutes sometimes, and that may not always be enough time - as you said, feeling rushed is something else that can take away from sexual enjoyment. While I can see how this is frustrating, it's not a sign of a larger problem on its own - just part of being a person with a brain that does a lot of multi-tasking.

[TheNiteHawk]

Much appreciated, Mo. As I said, what I might do is to wait some time until I feel highly aroused or horny, or to take more time if I get the opportunity. Thanks for chiming in, as you put it!

[TheNiteHawk]

Well, I think I solved my issue. Last nite, I took the time to write myself an erotic short story, which made me horny. I then used the story as stimuli while I masturbated. I also relaxed myself more and took a little more time for myself. Thanks to everyone for their responses!

[TheNiteHawk]

I realized now another point that I was wondering but forgot to ask: the really good feeling you feel right after climax/orgasm, for lack of a better term at the moment, let's call it "masturbation high" (although if you have the scientific word, feel free to tell me!). So, how long does it take for "masturbation high" to ebb to just feeling normal? For me, it seems to go away fairly quickly, within 5 minutes or so, although I still feel good.

Just wondering, thanks!

[Eddie C]

I think the term you are looking for is "The Resolution Stage".

…and, like with anything that has to do with sex, sexuality -- or anything in the world, actually -- is going to be different for every person. It can even be different for the same person from time to time.

Here is an excellent article that might be very helpful to understand how sexual response and orgasm work:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... sers_guide

Hope it helps!

[TheNiteHawk]

Much appreciated, Edith_*, especially for the quick response!

I agree with you that everything in different for every person. For example, I have a friend that doesn't like chocolate, and another friend that drinks vinegar (although that's more of a cultural thing for him and his family). I, on the other hand love chocolate and can't see myself drinking vinegar. It's the beauty of things, that everyone's different. From sex, food, movies, books, music, fashions, hobbies, ect. I find it highly interesting.

Anyway, thank you kindly once again!

[Eddie C]

You're very welcome.