Guy I am interested in came out to me as bi?
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lillie114
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Guy I am interested in came out to me as bi?
I am seeing a new guy. We talked for a couple of weeks before he started talking about threesomes, etc. I thought he was just joking, but then he told me he was bi. I didn't know what to say, so I just brushed it off. I never took it as a joke, but just changed the subject. Recently, he's been reminding me probably once a week. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel like it's okay with me. I was upset at first but the more I think of it I realize he's a great guy that I don't want to lose. I want to talk to him about it but I do not know what questions to ask him. Help?
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Karyn
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Re: Guy I am interested in came out to me as bi?
Welcome to the boards, lillie114.
Since it sounds like he's been bringing up his sexuality on a regular basis in conversation with you, that could actually be a good way to open up a discussion about it. Maybe there's more he'd like to talk about as well, but he's not sure how to go about it. You could say something like "I know this might be kind of awkward to talk about, but you've mentioned that you're bi a few times now: is there something more you'd like to talk about around that? I have some things I'd like to ask you too if you're okay with that, so maybe we could find a time to sit down and have a conversation?"
How does that sound? Too, if you want to talk more here about what sorts of questions you feel you should ask, or unpack some of those initial upset feelings you mentioned, we can do that!
Since it sounds like he's been bringing up his sexuality on a regular basis in conversation with you, that could actually be a good way to open up a discussion about it. Maybe there's more he'd like to talk about as well, but he's not sure how to go about it. You could say something like "I know this might be kind of awkward to talk about, but you've mentioned that you're bi a few times now: is there something more you'd like to talk about around that? I have some things I'd like to ask you too if you're okay with that, so maybe we could find a time to sit down and have a conversation?"
How does that sound? Too, if you want to talk more here about what sorts of questions you feel you should ask, or unpack some of those initial upset feelings you mentioned, we can do that!
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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lillie114
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Re: Guy I am interested in came out to me as bi?
Yes, I would like to talk about what sorts of questions to ask. I'm genuinely interested in it. I just don't want my questions to come across as rude or too pressing
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Mo
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Re: Guy I am interested in came out to me as bi?
I think it might help to start off with a conversation opener like what Karyn suggested above, so that you're giving him space to share anything else that your boyfriend thinks it's important to talk about. From there, you might have a better sense of what else you're curious about or want to ask.
Do you have a sense now of what you're curious to know but aren't sure you should ask, or are you feeling unsure about specifics but just feeling like you'd like to talk about his sexuality more?
Do you have a sense now of what you're curious to know but aren't sure you should ask, or are you feeling unsure about specifics but just feeling like you'd like to talk about his sexuality more?